Time to Speak
by SincerlyChelly
Summary: We all have a story, some are just a little complicated then others. They took away her freedom because they labled her "CRAZY"But they don't know half of the true story."They took my freedom; they don't deserve my voice." Will they ever find out? READ!
1. Chapter 1:?

**Anyways here goes another story that someone wanted to know I anyone wanted to write on their ideas sooooo I said "Why not?" Here goes a try at How I would write this story.**

**SM is owner to the twilight universe.**

**I will be uploading my other stories soon.**

**This is Dedicated to: ****belgren ****for coming up with an awesome plot! I hope she likes this.**

_*All thoughts are in italic.*_

Bpov

"Hell-lo Is-a-bella," I turned my head to see a rather nervous nurse Lauren, "I brought your pills for you." She said talking to me in a tone that everyone uses with me; they talk as if I'm a damn 6- year old. I wanted to get in her face and scream "I'M NOT A DUMBFUCK!" But I refuse to talk to anyone, especially an illiterate, fake bitch…_ she's a sorry excuse for a woman. _I take the pills from her shaking hands and swallow them dry. I turn my head away from her, and wait her presence to disappear.

"Your new doctor will be here soon, he's a nice one, I'm sure you'll like him." She says as she says as she closes the door, "I know I do." She adds in a whisper and I shutter at the thought of anyone ever wanting her.

I close my eyes and try to escape the fact that I might like him…. All the doctors treat me the same any way, They don't seem to understand that I DON'T want to talk to them and I DON'T want to be here, but they say I belong here where they took my freedom; _they don't deserve my voice._

I hear the door unlock and I don't look in the direction of the person coming in until I hear this bell-like voice, "Hello, you must be Isabella, my name is Doctor Cullen, or you can call me Carlisle."

As I look into the face of this beautiful man my throat closes and my mind panics. I calm myself down before he can physically notice my panicking.

I tell myself that he is not beautiful, that he is not an angel because when I think about it I think of "him", and I never want to look at another man in the same way.

**Okkk so this is just a taste…..**

**So where do you think Bella is??? First person to answear gets a sneak!!!!!!!! I'm so nervous I hope she likes this!!!!!!!!**

**Please review.**

**-michelle**


	2. Chapter 2:Memories

**Ok so here's the second chapter and I dedicate this to: ****YUN MIN TWILIGHT-FAN **** for being my first reviewer, and even though I barely got any reviews last week that's ok just please review after this. And no "him" is not Edward :)**

S.M is the owner to the twilight universe, I sadly own nothing.

_*all thoughts are in italic._

**All memories/ flashbacks/dreams are bold and underlined**

Bpov

The word again echo's through in my head and I suddenly flashback to the day they claimed I needed help.

**Memory:**

**I had been 2 weeks since the Accident occurred, 2 weeks since my 13****th**** birthday. I lay in the unfamiliar bed with the cover pulled up to my chin and I wished my mom could kiss me on the head and tell me goodnight; that my dad would come in and convince me to watch the dreadful sports channel . Even though I would say no I wished that I still had the opportunity to refuse , I wished that I would've said yes, but I know that I will never get that chance.**

"**They're dead. They're all dead, Bella." I hear his voice in a low whisper and It gets closer. "Do you see what you made me do Bella? Do you see!? I look up and I see his face looking back at me . his hand strokes my right cheek and I flinch away, "Don't you move away from me, you little BITCH." I scream as he grabs my face and everything goes black.**

"**Bella, Bella!" I awake to see Mr. And Mrs. Clearwater looking down at me with terrified eyes. Tears roll down my face and I stay silent, **_**They won't make me speak.**_

"**I'm sorry Bella, I've tried and tried but you won't speak to me or anyone else since the accident and the only time you speak is when you wake up screaming. I can't help you and I can't deal with this any longer." **

**When she says the last words I look at her , and try to register what she's saying. I flicker my eyes toward the door and see two men approach me. "I'm sorry" is all she can say as the men try to touch me , I kick and scream . I try to struggle, and put up a fight but I don't notice the guy holding a needle until I feel the sting of the injection. My eyes flicker back towards Mr. Clearwater and he avoids my eyes as if he can't feel them drilling holes into his back. **

_**How could he let her do this, how could they;**_** They were my parents best friends. They were my god parents.**

"**Why?" I whispered weakly and my lids get heavier. **

"**You're crazy Bella, you not the same. You need professional help." He says back before the drugs take me .**

**End of memory.**

After that night I told myself that the Clearwater's were not my family, and that I would never give them the satisfaction of thinking that I was crazy. That night was the night I started my silence, and I haven't confided in anyone since. That was four years ago.

Cpov

"Hello, you must be Isabella, my name is Doctor Cullen, or you can call me Carlisle."

As I look into my new patient's face. I hear her heart accelerate and I worry. Just as I am about to ask if she is ok Her eyes get this far away look and she continues to stare into my eyes. Her brown eyes bore into mine as if she can see my whole life story. Pain flashes across her eyes and I advance forward.

"Isabella?" I whisper and she doesn't move, I move my fingers in front of her face, but I get no response. I lightly touch her arm with my fingers and she flinches away from my touch while grabbing her torso tightly.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Swan, "I say and I sit in the chair across from her. "I'm your new doctor, it's very nice to meet you."

Bpov

I am broken out of my trance when I feel an ice cold touch, I shy away from the physical contact of this stranger and I hug my body. I try to get rid of the feeling of his fingers touching me, but it still slingers as he begins to talk.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Swan,"_ Damn straight, don't ever touch me again, _I think as he sits in the cold metal chair that so many doctors have sat in before, "I'm your new doctor, and it's very nice to meet you." He smiles a genuine smile and I turn my head in response. _Why would I smile back? You're just going to be like all the other stupid ass doctors who thought that they could "fix me" But they had another thing coming, I'm sure I'm not broken._

"Unresponsive," he mutters to himself as I hear the scratch of his pen against the paper.

_Yea and you won't get anything more, so no need to keep your hopes up._

I hear him clear his throat but I don't acknowledge him. "Well, let me tell you a little about myself."

_Hmmmmm…. A doctor telling me about themselves…this is new._

**And this is the end of the second chapter… hope you like it, and don't forget to review. And sorry about not giving the sneak I just wanted to get this chapter up so bad…..But I will be giving out sneaks to one lucky reviewer next time.**

**-Michelle**


	3. Chapter 3:Stories

**Ok so if you haven't heard I'm kind of suckish with sneaks at times so I am deadly sorry but this chapter is dedicated to**: sammy55. **Because I really like this reviewer and her story rocks so If you like secret life of the American teenager and twilight then go check her out!**

**I own nothing.**

_*all thoughts are in italic*_

Bpov

"Well since you already know my name I guess I'll let you know a little about my background. I am 32 years old, and I was born in a small village outside of France. My parents and I moved around a lot so I can say that I am overly cultured in English countries"

_Hmmm…sounds like you lived a very picture book life….unlike others._

I stare at the wall, silent as I listen to his bell-like voice, it is warm and soothing. It reminds me of the soft glow the fireplace gives off during the winter.\

"When I was 20 I moved to America, and here is where I started school. About five years later after I graduated I had a steady job and I met the love of my life Esme."

I wanted to turn around and laugh in his face.

_I mean love? WHAT THE HELL! Love is a bunch of bologna. I thought they loved me but they sent me here._

"Esme and I got married two years later, you may have thought that life was perfect but things changed when we found out that Esme couldn't have kids, so we decided to adopt."

_Adoption_

_Sometimes I wished I was adopted then maybe I wouldn't be in this hell hole._

"I have two beautiful daughters and three handsome sons. Their names are Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward."

_Edward_

_I always liked that name. It felt so safe, so loving. It reminded me of the all the Edwards and Edmunds I have read about in all those lovable classic books. The same books that used to make my heart melt feels so lost…I try not to dwell on the past._

"Buzzzzzz…Buzzzzzzz…Buzzzzzzzz….." A buzzing sound breaks me out of my trance and I turn my head toward Carlisle. I see him pull a cell phone out of his pocket. When he looks back at me I notice that his eyes are golden

_Very unusual_

He smiles at me very lightly and I am surprised that the action reaches his eyes.

"I'm sorry Ms. Swan, It's been a pleasure talking to you, but I have to go. How about I tell you more tomorrow? Would you like that?"

As much as I want to say yes I just blink in response.

"Good buy Ms. Swan, I really enjoy your company."

I watch him as he opens the door and it clicks behind him.

He's the first person that has talked to me like a human being in a long time and for some reason I couldn't wait to see him again.

**I hop enjoyed this chapter and I have noticed that they have been very short and I am extremely sorry about that. Please review and give me your good/bad advice, tell me if you love it or hate it; give me nay suggestions if you have any concerning the story at this point.**

**I know its going kind of slow at this point but it will get better I promise.**

**I'll update soon.**

**-Michelle.**


	4. Chapter 4:Pictures

**Ok so finally another chapter!!!!! I'm so incredibly happy and I hope you enjoy this ((:**

**Stephanie Meyer owns the key to the Twilight Universe…. But I do enjoy vacationing there a couple times every year.**

_*All thoughts are in italic.*_

_*****_**All flashbacks/ memories are bold and underlined.***

Bpov

"Hello Ms. Swan." Carlisle says as he enters my room carrying an envelope instead of his usual clipboard and tape recorder.

_I guess he finally realized that I won't speak, I guess he's giving up…Just like all the others…At least he's saying goodbye. _My throat becomes clogged at the thought of losing the only doctor that I've appreciated in so long; I get the feeling that I constantly used to get when everyone left me. It reminds me of Jacob.

**Jacob was the only person that I would talk to after the incident, and when I was sad he would go out of his way just to see me happy. I remember the numerous times that he would sneak through my window at the Clearwater's house and talk to me until I fell asleep in his arms. I was attached to him in so many ways; he was like the friend I never had but secretly always needed to keep me going. **

**When I first got sent to the institution, he was the only one that wrote me, but I refused to write him back because I didn't want him to feel my misery. I remember the last letter he wrote me and how it broke my heart when he said:**

"**I love you more then anything, you are my sun in the morning and when my sun sets all I think about is you. I LOVE YOU BELLA, I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, AND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN. I can't stand to write you anymore if you don't feel the same way, because it hurts me to know that I can't free you from that place! I feel defenseless because I can't help you. Just know that I will always be there even when it feels like no one is watching I'll be there to help you sleep, and I'll be there to make you laugh. I'll be there to whisper "I love you" when you need it most; I just hope you love me too."**

**Jacob**

**Jacob was my only best friend, my first kiss, my first love. He was everything to me, and it breaks my heart to know that he was right. Sometimes when it's so quiet that anyone can hear me breath I can swear that I hear saying that he loves me, and I fall asleep to his soothing husky voice imagining that he never left.**

"Ms. Swan? Isabella…." The bell like voice makes me wake up from my memory and I focus on the current feeling of him leaving me. "Ok, for today I thought why don't we have a day of fun and I just tell you some of my story. I even brought some pictures of my family."

I feeling of the constant jab in my chest disappears when I notice that he's not saying goodbye, but saying hello to another day of keeping me company. He pulls the envelope from under his arm and begins to open it. He pulls out a stack of pictures.

The first picture I see is of a very beautiful women with long brown hair and a petite frame, Carlisle looks deep into her eyes as he holds her and I think of the love that I always thought was non-existent.

"This is my wife Esme." He says with a look of adoration that makes me imagine the way my parents once were.

I turn my head away from him for a split second as I feel the burning in my eyes from where tears once used to fall; I haven't cried in years, _and I won't start now. _When I give my attention back to Carlisle I see two new pictures on the corner of my bed.

I see a very huge guy who looks as if he could wrestle a bear, and as scary as that may seem his dimples make him look a little less threatening. The next picture is of a tall blond girl, who looks more along the lines of a runway model then an average girl.

"This is my daughter Rosalie and My son Emmett." Carlisle says while motioning towards the pictures before he pulls out another.

There are two people in this one. There is a girl with short jet black spiky hair. The light smirk on her face seems so refreshing; she reminds me of a pixie. The guy sitting next to her has blond hair and an intense look as he stares at the pixie-like girl. The look he gives her makes me think of the way he used to look at me… But I doubt he was thinking the same thing that sick bastard was.

"These two are Jasper and Alice; they're a very odd couple."

When he says couple I look at him with a confused expression and he chuckles.

"Oh, I guess I forgot…. Um Jasper and Rosalie are twins, Rosalie is with Emmett, and Alice is with Jasper. Some people find it weird considering the fact that they are adopted siblings but I think it's perfectly fine because they're not biological siblings. Who said we choose who we fall in love with anyway?" Carlisle smiles as he says the last sentence and I look from his face at the pictures before I hear him speaking.

"How stupid could I be," He fumbles with the envelope and another picture falls into his palm, "I almost forgot; this is my youngest son Edward."

He looks at the picture and then twirls it around for me to see.

_This is Edward._

**Don't cliff hangers make you want to slap the author across the face and then ask them WHAT THE HELL I S YOUR PROBLEM!!!!**

**Well I had to do it….lol I hope you liked this chapter and I hope it was a little longer. Don't forget to click on that button and tell me your thoughts good or bad!**

**-Michelle**


	5. Chapter 5:Destined

**Ok so I really have enjoyed your reviews lately and I hope that you all enjoy this chapter, and I am extremely sorry for the lateness and the shortness of the chapters; I have been trying extremely hard to fix that.**

**Here goes nothing.**

_*All thoughts are in italic.*_

Stephanie Meyer is the owner to the twilight universe.

Bpov

His eyes were golden just like everyone else in their makeshift family, but his seemed somewhat brighter and as I stared at them I suddenly became lost in the picture. His hair was a weird color; it was bronze and it matched perfectly with his pale skin. His face looked like a painting. The way his jaw line was so defined, and you could tell by the way his eyes went on endlessly like he had so many secrets.

"Bella…" My name rolls off Carlisle's tongue and it stays cluttered in my mind.

"Ed—

The first sound of his name leaves my lips before everything goes black.

Cpov

Her eyes got a momentary sparkle when she looked at the picture, and at that moment I wished I had my son's gift and could look deeply into the corners of her mind. Just so I could know what she was thinking.

"Bella," I say her name softly trying to break her out of her trance, and my words don't seem to reach her. Her lips just move the slightest, and a small sound comes out before she faints.

The picture falls from my hands and I get up from my chair and check for her pulse. Her pulse feels perfectly normal and as I brush the curtain of hair from her face her eyes flutter. It seems as though she's fallen asleep. I lay her in her bed and pull the covers over her frail body.

_Ring…. Ring….Ring…. _The sound of my cell phone breaks me out of my silence and I instantly pick it up.

"Hello?" I say quietly into the receiver.

"Carlisle, Carlisle, What happened?" Alice's frantic voice rings through my ears. _I should've known she'd see this._

"Alice its ok…She just passed out. Why do you sound like something else is attached to this?"

"It's just…This isn't the first time I've had visions about this girl, and when I saw her in your arms I panicked."

"What do you mean that this isn't the first time?" I asked in a firm tone, "Why didn't you tell me that you were having visions about my patient?"

"Wait your patient! You mean she's in that Looney bin?"

"Alice, calm down, why do you sound so hysterical?"

"It's just, it's just," The words lingered in Alice's voice

"It's just what?"

"I had a vision that she was with us."

"What do you mean?" I asked completely confused.

"I think she's destined to be in our family."

I suck in a breath of air and look back at Bella in shock.

"Are you sure?" I ask Alice.

"Yes."

The phone line goes dead and I put my phone in my pocket as I make my way back to Isabella. I look into the face of this young girl and wonder about how she could she could fit into our family of vampires. _Who would be the one to take her final breaths?_

I gather my things and begin to leave but before I do, I take one more look over my shoulder.

_Why won't you talk to me? _My mind screams, and she stirs in her bed as if she can hear my thoughts directed toward her. Her lips move quickly and she mumbles something too quickly for me to hear…The only word I could catch was: "Listen"

The sleep drunken word lingers in my mind as I walk down the hallway and out the door into the fresh rain scent.

_Goodnight Isabella._

**And again I apologize for the shortness of the chapter but I hope that you enjoy what I have given you.**

**I will try to update as soon as possible and please review and give me your thoughts and Ideas.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Michelle.**


	6. Chapter 6:Never giving up

**I haven't updated in what seems like forever, so I guess I will do so with no excuse because I know you don't want to hear it! I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

_*All thoughts are in italic.*'_

Bpov

I can hear the pitter patter of rain dropping over me and for the first time in years I miss the scent of a new day. I try to remember what happened, and I have absolutely no recognition of how I ended up on the papery feeling of the familiar mattress. The darkness closes in around me and I sigh. It's times like this when my mind wonders off and I think of less complicated times.

I want to feel the warmth of my father's arms around me, and it's almost as if I can hear my mom humming the tune of "Claire De Lune" into my ear as her wet lips make contact with the side of my face. I sigh and suddenly my head makes contact with the wall underneath the small prison window. The coldness of the wall makes me lose focus and my mind thankfully goes blank; that's when I hear that oh-too-familiar husky voice. My eyes instantly close and its like the natural warmth of his body is surrounding me. I start to rock my body and I imagine the way he used to scoop me in his arms when we were children and rock me like I was a baby. The day disappears behind the darness of my lids, his lips reach my ear and ever so slightly whispers, "I love you." before pushing his lips to mine, and it's as if that is my own personal knockout drug.

Cpov

When I enter the institute I politely say hello to the nurses I pass on my way. The thought of my wife passes my mind as the lust rolls off their tongue, and I can't help but imagine her by my side; she would flash them a confident smile and a wink and I know instantly their self esteem would be shattered. I smirk to myself at the pleasant thought as I put the key into Isabella's door. I see her in sitting position; her eyes are closed, and her arms are wrapped around her knees. I hear her heart beat slow and steady and I know that she is sleep. I lightly close the door behind me and I pull out the chair carefully. I sit and examine the calmness in her facial expression, and I notice the way her face is shaped like a heart; her hair hangs in wavy curls and her eyelashes cast shadows against her pale skin.

Instantly I wonder what could make such a beautiful young lady tick… _Something had to have set her off._

"Isabella." her name leaves my lips softly at first, and she stirs in her sleep. As if she can feel my eyes on her yes flutter open. She stares at me for a moment and it takes her a moment before she realizes where she is, and she puts her guard up. "Hello Isabella, It's nice to see you again." No response; just blank eyes it's almost as if I'm not here. "Well I guess, I'm just going to give in Ms. Swan I've realized that you won't talk to me, and I'm not going to force you." her expression falters a little as if she thinks I'm giving up on her but she has no idea. I NEVER give up on a patient. "So I will do anything to get you to open up to me." she gives me a shocked expression and her heartbeat shoots up a little bit in reaction to my current words. An awkward silence fills the room."

I pull out my plan to help her open up and I hope it succeeds.

Bpov

I am still in shock as the words leave his lips and I make sure my eyes follow his next action. He grabs his bag and pulls out a black journal.

"This is for you. I want you to use this as a way of communication; anytime you feel as if you want to tell me something about yourself, just take this pen, " he sets the pen on top of the journal and then neatly places both of them on top of the bed beside me. "and write whatever is on your mind."

I bite my lip in odd curiosity, and Carlisle takes a deep breath, "Well our time here is up. Ms Swan… I'll see you next time." He gathers up his things and begins to leave. When he is gone I pick up the pen and the pen feels foreign in my fingers. _It's been a while since I've held one of these. _I grab the journal and run my fingers across the front cover. When I remove the top from the pen and move the pen over the paper my letters come out sloppy and the pen slips from my sweaty fingers in nervousness:

_Hello… My name is Isabella Marie Swan, but I prefer Bella._

**It's been a while! But I hope you like && I will update the next chapter soon, and it will be longer.**

**-Michelle **


	7. Chapter 7:Save Me

**It's been so long! I'm so sorry for keeping you all waiting, but considering I have been focused on school and college apps please bare with me. I appreciate all who have stuck with this story and all the others as I have been gone and I appreciate the ones who will still be here after this story. So, here goes another chapter!**

**Disclaimer: SM OWNS THE TWILIGHT UNIVERSE!**

_***Journal entries will be in italics and underlined.***_

_*Thoughts are in Italics."_

Bpov

The days pass silently and sometimes I think that I will never again see the sunset. So, I wait; I wait for the day that Dr. Cullen comes and for some reason my heart opens a little at the thought. Out of the corner of my eyes I can see the black journal staring at me and it calls to me to write something, write anything. Quickly I snatch it up, and I place it atop my knees that are pulled closely up to my chest. The first and only sentence stares me in the face, "_Hello… My name is Isabella Marie Swan, but I prefer Bella." _I think of what I should write and instantly the pen between my fingers start to move.

_In my life no one has ever loved me. Well, not after the death of my parents. Sometimes I can still hear them and I think that's the only reason why I tolerate staying in this place. I have the belief that one day I will be reunited with them. I'll die, and no one will ever be able to hurt me again; no one will be able to find me… Not even him._

The words staring back at me make me cringe at the mention of that monster and it all comes back to me like a million flies trying to invade a rotten piece of meat. His face takes shape. Those menacing blue eyes, and pale skin tone frighten me and my eyes sting with the shed of unwanted tears. My heart is cold and always will be.

The dead bolt of the door contracts and quickly I snap myself out of my nightmare to hide the evidence of my emotions. The journal slides underneath my pillow and the pen cuts into my stomach as I put it under my shirt and pull my knees tighter into my middle.

Nurse Lauren enters the room and as usual I give her the deadliest of looks. The silence of terror radiates off her body like sun rays, and I remember when I used to try to keep track of the days; I tried to close my eyes and remember the last sliver of sunshine of sunshine I ever saw and now I can no longer remember because if I close my eyes I only see darkness.

"Here are your pills for the day Isabella!" her over obnoxious voice makes my blood boil and suddenly I get the urge to strangle her. She hands me a small Dixie cup and I comply instantly. The pills hit the back of my throat and I swallow them dry; the chalky taste leaves a nasty taste in my mouth and I stop mouth and I stop the urge to spit "Hope you have a nice day, and your Dr. will be here soon." The door closes after her retreating form and I pull out the journal and place it on top of Carlisle's chair.

Cpov

When I open up the door to Isabella's eyes, they give away no emotions to what she's thinking. A small smile comes over my face, and when I place my hands upon the small of the back of the chair I look down to see the black below. The emotion of disappointment surges through me, but when I pick up the book and look toward Bella's eyes they show signs of helpfulness.

"Would you like me to read this?" I ask. At first she looks skeptical and then gives me a quick nod of her head. When I open the book and see the little insecure scrawl of words my mind opens up with so many possibilities. "_I prefer Bella." _I smile at that , and I store the little fact in my mind. I continue to read on, and when I get to the closing my cold heart drops, "_no one will ever find me… not even him." _My Dr. mode is instantly thrown out the window and I slowly approach the side of her bed.

"Bella," I say quietly, "I need you to tell me who he is." she cringes noticeably and quickly pulls her knees into her chest. "Who is he, Bella? You can trust me, I can make this right." By this time her body is almost curled into a complete ball and as I reach to touch her she flinches away from me. The pain of her putting her wall up stabs me, but I try to push it out of my voice when I call her name once more, "Bella."

"No." she says almost inaudibly before she gets this bewildered look inside her eyes and screams, "NO!"

The single word ricochets off the walls and I stare at her in amazement. "OK" I say, : "You don't have to tell me." The next couple of minutes tick by. Silence fills the air, and I notice that Bella's breathing settles, becoming steady. I approach her, noticing that she is sleep, I stroke her beautiful thick hair and I whisper to her, "I won't give up on you." She turns her head drunkenly to the side, and I gather my stuff to leave; I leave the book on the chair and I pray that she'll talk to me.

Bpov

The sound of thunder wakes me out of my sleep to a dark room. I look around, but I see nothing but a million invisible shadows that sound against me. I try to remember what happened and disappointment surges through me. I am upset with myself. I weave my fingers in the back of my hair and tug lightly; instantly I am back in my own little world where my pain serves as my own therapy. _I can't believe I spoke to him. _I think, _he must really think I've lost it. _My tugs become more forceful and for the first time in a long time I am thankful for the distraction. The thunder gets closer and I jump at the sound of it. This is the moment that I realize I don't want to be alone; I wish that someone was with me. The pounding inside of my head starts and my head hit's the papery feel of the pillow beneath me. I pull my knees toward my chest and I think of _Claire de Lune_, the last song my mother hummed to me.

My eyes open at the first sliver of light and I search for my pen. When I feel it I pad across the room to find my notebook; opening it I begin to write:

_I lied to you yesterday. There was one person who loved me. His name is Jacob, and I miss him. Sometimes I can still hear his husky voice and smell his earthy tan skin. I remember the way it felt when he would touch me. He was warm, and he reminded me of the sun. He was my sun but now my sun is set, and I am surprised you haven't left._

Footsteps alarm my ears and quickly I stash the notebook inside of my pillowcase along with the pen. The door starts to open and when I see who enters my heart starts to frantically skip beats. I keep my expression straight hoping that he will leave, but he just stands there with a slimy look on his face as he looks me over.

"Hello beautiful." The security guard, who I know as Mike, says as he closes the door behind him. "You remember me don't you?" My mind starts to randomly lets out panicked thoughts. _I thought they fired him after the last incident. _I start to feel surrounded and he starts to remove his clothes. First his hat hit's the ground, and he goes to work on his button up. "That's what I like about you sweetheart, you don't speak much." he walks up to me and I turn my head so I won't see him approaching. Ahe grabs my chin and turns me toward him; my body turns to ice. My body becomes stone and when he parts my legs and leans in for a kiss I think to react.

I bit down as hard as I can. "OH SHIT!" He screams and I lunge for the door. My hands barely knock once before he grabs me and I start to scream.

"Shut up bitch!" the words bring back a memory of that night and as I fight Mike someone else's face takes shape. An animalistic scream bubbles in my throat and I start to scratch and punch him. I scream louder and I pray that someone will find me; save me.

**I was going to upload more, but i wanted to see how you guys like this one before i do! The next chapter will be up tonight & i hope you like it! Be sure to leave a reveiw on this chapter; what do you think is going to happen?**

**-Michelle**


	8. Chapter 8:Helping Bella

**OK, so here goes another chapter like I promised! I hope all or you like it & I appreciate all who will read it! **

**Twilight Belongs to SM; and I wish it was mine… Doesn't everyone?**

_*Thoughts are in italics*_

Cpov

"Carlisle!" Alice's voice rings inside of my ears and before I can speak back she is standing in front of my bedroom door. Her face is frantic, "Someone is trying to hurt her, Carlisle we have to go help her now!" The confusion surges through me and when I look in my daughter's eyes I know who she's talking about.

"Who's hurting her?" I ask.

"I don't know, but we need to go now." I think about running over there, but before I can take off Alice grabs my wrist along with the keys to my car. We get into my Mercedes S55 and take off into the night. Alice speeds on the roads; driving crazily and I pray that everything will be alright until I make it to Bella's side.

Bpov

My throat feels raw and when I hear the door opening I think that I am hallucinating. I see Nurse Tanya and an overnight Doctor enter the room. I hit Mike once more and he pushes away from me. "I heard her screaming in her sleep, and when I went to see if she was alright she tried to attack me." he lies with ease and the two turn their eyes on me as if I am the culprit.

"No," I say firmly, "he tried to rape me."

They look at me as if I am pathetic and advance towards me with a thick needle; this time I am truly scared. "NO!" I scream, "You have to believe me!" the restrain me and tears roll down my face as the sting of the needle penetrates me skin.

"That's right, Isabella," the whisper, "Stay calm."

Cpov

I run into the building at a speed above the regular human and a nurse approaches me,

"Dr. Cullen, we were just about to call you-

"Where is she?" I ask in a calm and agitated tone.

"Who?" she asks with in a confused tone as if she doesn't know what I'm talking about.

"Where is Bella?"

"We had to sedate her. She tried to attack a guard."

"Is that what she told you?" I nearly scream at her

"No, doctor, she told us that he tried to rap her, but we can't be so sure with the condition of her mental state-

I cut her off once more, and by now I can no longer keep my composure, "Which guard?" I ask the nurse motions towards a tall guard standing in the corner and after she does I shoot her a menacing look. "You keep him AWAY from her." she look at me like I've lost it and I step closer to her, "I believe that her tried to rape her, and you did not handle the situation in an orderly fashion; if it was me he would be in a 6 by 9 cell and would never have the opportunity of seeing SUNLIGHT EVER AGAIN. If I ever hear of him by patient, I will see to it that you and him and not allowed within 100 ft. of the establishment. And don't give her any more pills, she doesn't need them."

I walk towards the back and when I make it to Bella's room and when I see the room it is thrown in total dismay. I walk up to her and as I crotch beside her bed, I stroke her hair, and tell her that everything will be OK.

After a couple of minutes I leave the hospital to see a very scary Alice confronting a security guard. I shoot her a look that says "let's go" and when she backs off I know there's no chance that he will ever try anything with anyone else.

"We've got to get her out of this place, Carlisle" Alice says.

"I know and soon we will."

**I told you guys I would update once more tonight and I hope all of you LOVE IT! But, if you don't then let me know! REVEIWS ARE REVEIWS I don't care if they are good are bad. **

**-Michelle**


	9. Chapter 9:What Did You See?

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! And HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALLLLL! 2012!**

_*thoughts are in italics*_

Bpov

I feel dirty, and I know exactly why. I feel this way because he touched me and for a split second I thought of him. I couldn't fight him, I tried, but he was too strong. The tears roll down my face as I stare into space; _I want to go! Take me god! Why won't you take me? I've been through way too much. _Silent sobs rack my body and I think of something nice; when I close my eyes all I can see is gold.

Cpov

The next day is silent. _I don't know what I have to do, but I know I need to get her out of that place soon. I can't think of a way, and the hours i have to think about it are getting smaller with the passing of each minute. _I walk into the kitchen to ask Alice if she's seen anything new, but I stop halfway when I hear voices.

"What the hell was that Alice?" Edward asks with a confused and interested tone.

"What are you talking about, Edward?"

"Alice, i just saw it, and don't try t cover it up now by counting to 1000." I saw something; I know I did."

"What exactly did you see?" Alice asks in a tone that lets me know she contemplating what she should and shouldn't tell Edward.

"Well first you thought of killing someone, but then you started to say a name over and over." he asks a light pause and if I think clearly enough it's was almost as if I can see his brow knitted in complete confusion. "Bella." he whispers, "and then I saw eyes" I start to descend the stairs quietly and quickly. When I make it to the corner of the entryway I stopped walking when I saw the look on his face. "her eyes were brown like melted chocolate, and they were big as globes." His face is memorized and before Alice can begin to speak her face grows disconnected.

Edward looks at her intently and I can tell that he is watching her vision unfold. His face falls and Alice begins to come to he bolts from the room.

"Edward!" she yells after him, but he pays her not attention.

"Alice what did you see?" I ask attentively.

"It's him," she stutters out quickly, "He's the reason why Bella's destined.

Two days later

Bpov

It's been two days, and I can still feel his fingers. The thoughts scare me; I'm lost in my own world and I beg for these thoughts to stop. _Stop. Please stop. Stop. Please stop. _My pleas turn into a never ending mantra. It was driving me crazy , and it only ends when i hear the door handle turn.

"Hello, Ms. Swan," the nasally female voice throws me off guard. _She isn't supposed to be here. Why is she here? _she looks at me uncomfortably before speaking again, "I just wanted to tell you that Dr. Cullen will be late today for your usual session, he had some family business to tend to, and he will be a little late to your usual therapy time."

_She must think I'm stupid; I knew it was too good to be true. He's going to leave just like all the others. I must be crazy! _My thoughts are becoming erratic like my growing heart beat and I let out a long laugh to cover up the tears that threaten to spill over.

"Is that what he really said?" I ask the nurse. She visibly tenses up and I continue, "I asked a question, and I'm pretty sure you heard me, or are you just going to stand there like a dumb bitch and ignore my obvious question?"

"Sure Isabella, why don't you just calm down and I'll just go get the doctor." She quickly and shakily takes a step back. I jump off the bed and she stumbles.

"You know I'm not as much as a dumb fuck as you and every other illiterate SOB in the hospital thinks I am! Just tell me the truth! he's not coming at all is he?" I scream the words I've been waiting and feigning to scream since Carlisle first walked through my cell door. the nurse looks frightened as I continue my rampage, "Well you know what, bitch? You and everyone else in this damn hospital can FUCK off! I am NOT crazy, and if you every had the chance to walk in my shoes you wouldn't last!"

Cpov

The moment Alice told me that Edward is the key to everything; it has been echoing on and off inside my head. It probably would've drove Edward crazy by now, if he was here, but ever since Alice's random vision he's been gone. _i can't wait to see Bella today; if i can get her to tell me her story I can truly help her. _I walk towards the garage, but as i reach for the doorknob i hear someone enter the living room.

"Edward," I call out, because I know it's him. He lets out a breath of air as if he's been holding it for days. I think about beating around the bush with my questioning, but I know that if I did I'll never get my answers. So, I go straight to the question I need to know the answer to. "Edward, what did Alice see? I ask him. he fidgets at my words as if i had burnt him with the slightest touch of fire, "Edward, I really need you to tell me how you are connected to this." He runs his fingers through his hair and when he looks at me i see the torment in his eyes.

I pull out my phone and quickly make a call to the office. "Hello, you have reached Windy Hills Psychiatric Hospital. This is Lauren, how may I help you?"

"This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen; I'm just calling to alert you that I have some family issues to attend to, and I may be a little late to my usual appointment. Please alert my patient." I hung up without much of a confirmation and I give Edward my undivided attention.

"At first it was just jumbled thoughts, and then Alice started to say her name. Her eyes took shape and they were amazingly brown. I was enticed by this," His eyes get the same far away look, "I wanted to know who she was, and I thought of finding her, meeting her, loving her, and then Alice." he closes his eyes slowly and I can see the hate of what he's about to say etched into his features. _He's ashamed of what he's about to say. _"I bit her Carlisle. I dug my teeth into the softness of her milky skin and as the blood hit my lips I truly tasted it. It was the sweetest thing I ever dreamt of. I almost couldn't stop! what if the time comes and I can't stop!" his body shakes with his next intake of breath and as I reach over to comfort him my phone buzzes. I think about pressing ignore, but when i see the number of the hospital calling I quickly pick up.

"Hello."

"I'm so sorry to bother you Dr. but we are in a bit of a crisis. Isabella has the door to her room locked by what we assume is a chair, and she is ranting on and on about taking her life. I know you said not to give her any medication, but at this point we have no choice then to somehow knock down the door and sedate her. She could easily be a danger to -

I cut her off before she can go any further, "If I'm not there in five minutes, proceed with your original plan, but please give me five minutes. I shoot up from the couch with my thoughts running a mile a minute I begin to run to the hospital before I can think about exposing myself.

Bpov

I can't remember the last time I felt so lost. All I know is that I don't like the feeling. I pick up the pen that Mike broke on the night he violated me and I run the pointed part against my wrist. A vein pops out with every breath I take and I know that if press it hard enough i can easily slice my vein open. _Mom and Dad I'm coming home. It's been so long, and I need you. _I can't second guess this, because if I do they'll get me. _They'll drug me , and take me away and they'll really think I'm crazy. _tears leak out of the corners or my eyes and as i press the tip into my skin I hear a soothing voice.

"Bella." _I'm dreaming... It can't be. _"Bella, it's Carlisle. I need you to open the door for me; i promise nothing will happen if you open the door for me." I think i'm hallucinating, but the soothing voice draws me out of the bed. I walk towards the door, and as I remove the chair i can't stop myself from shaking; i grip the door handle and turn. _He's really here. _

"It's alright, Bella." He grabs my shoulders and it takes everything in me to ignore the happiness I feel.

"I thought you were gone," I whisper, "I thought you left me." he sits me down and as he scans the room his eyes stop on the sharpened piece of plastic. he sit me down and there's no telling what's going through his head at this time.

"I know i said i would give you time to tell me what's wrong with you, but we don't have time. I need you to tell me; if you don't I can't tell you. I need to know your story; i need to know why you're here.

His words cut me deeper then anything stabbed inside my veins and even thought I have a nagging feeling telling me to refuse all contact I say, "OK, I'll tell you."

**I Am sorry for any misspelling there may be! I hope you guys like this chapter & sorry for the cliffy ! T E L L me what you think!**

**-Michelle**


	10. Chapter 10:Reminisce

Cpov

I watch her face intently as she closes her eyes and begins the journey into her past.

"When I was 12 I couldn't wait to be 13. I mean, I would finally be a teenager, and to me, that was a very important thing. I thought I was closer to growing up." Her face is neutral And calm rays seem to glow out of her. I can imagine her young and ready to take on the world; the thought makes me smile. "It was a week before my birthday, and I remember being so excited. That night my parents called me down into the living room, after a long day of work, and I saw him."

Bpov

At this moment my stomach betrayed me. I felt the queasiness of butterfly wings making me completely sick with the drunkenness of his beauty. "I mean it wasn't the first time I've seen him, he was one of my father's trusted business associates. His name was James, James Hunter, and as a young girl I had the biggest crush on him. He had dirty blond hair, a smile that I swore could make me turn to goo, and blue eyes that matched the ocean. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so naïve, because if I wasn't I would've seen the playful winks and jokes as what they really were; him fucking me with his eyes and sexual harassment."

I paused for a second and reminisced on that day, the words came to my mouth perfectly, but in my mind it all became to clear.

(memory)

"**Bella!" my parent's voices ricocheted off the wall in perfect sync and I ran down the stairs quickly to see what they wanted.**

"**Yes?" I scanned the room and my eyes and my eyes found his first, "Hi Mr. James." I said in what I thought was a clear voice, but inside my heart was doing summersaults. **

**He gave me a wink that sent shivers up and down my spine and licked his lips in a seductive way before saying, "Hello sweetheart, I heard you're going to be all grown up in a couple of days."**

"**Yes, that's correct." I said completely forgetting my parents were in the room as he stared at me intently. My mom cleared her throat and I felt my cheeks get hot as I turned toward her.**

"**Um, sweetie, me and your Dad were talking and I know you were really looking forward to Disneyland with Jake, but Dad's got this really big business trip, and we-**

"**So, you're bailing on my birthday? Oh my God, Dad you promised!"**

"**I'm sorry baby girl, but I just couldn't refuse this job opportunity; they might have fired me."**

**I scoffed, "Please, Dad, save it! You're so high in that damn company you practically own it!" I stomped up the stairs toward the direction of my room and slammed the door as protest to my mother's screams. I knew I was being a brat, but I didn't care; this was my day, and they were ruining it. I screamed into my pillow and it was only then when I heard a soft knock on my door. I was going to protest to talking, until I noticed that it wasn't my dad. **

**James approached the bed and closed the door behind him, "Look, Isabella." I looked up at him and once again I got the giggly effects of school girl, "I told your parents that I would come and talk to you. I know you're mad, and you have every right to be, but you're way to beautiful to be cry Love." I didn't know how to feel about the pet name, but by heart flip flopped like a fish gasping for air. I smiled at him, and suddenly he got closer. I didn't know what he was doing, and I certainly wasn't expecting what happened next. He kissed me. His lips pressed up against mine aggressively and he forced his tongue into my mouth; I had only kissed one other person before, and believe me it was nothing like this. He pushed me down onto the bed; I knew that this couldn't be right and I pushed him off. The look of lust in his eyes scared me half to death.**

"**What are you doing?" I asked shakily while trying to move away from him.**

"**I'm giving you what you want, and don't act like you don't want it. I've seen the way your young eyes watch me; taunting me with those little clothes that show off your growing body." he grabbed my wrist and when I tried to pull away he pulled harder; I screamed.**

(end of memory)

Cpov

Her face contorts in pain as she tells me the rest of that memory, "My parent's came crashing in the room, and when they saw the situation my dad went berserk. Him and James got into a fight and James ran out before the cops showed up. The last thing he said was he loved me, and he would get to me if it was the last thing he did."

My mind is completely blown by the story, but something tells me this can't be the end. "Is there more?" I ask. I know I may be venturing in dangerous waters, but suddenly I am hungry for this piece of knowledge.

"There is so much more," she tells me and her eyes get distant with the wetness of unshed tears.

"Believe me," I say, "I have all the time in the world."

**Yes, to answer your wondering thoughts. I did leave it in a cliff hanger, but I DO have the next chapter almost done. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Tell me what you think; GOOD or BAD.**

**I am currently in the business of looking for a BETA that will enjoy working with me, because I know my grammar can be extremely horrible at times! If that person is you or if you know someone that would like to do that! PM me and let me know; the person who beta's gets chapters earlier then everyone else! Just saying! **

**-Michelle**


	11. Chapter 11:Speaking Up

**I admit I take a long time to update. SORRY. This chapter is dedicated to: **kate x wolfe**, because she has been dedicated to seeing this story uploaded, and she is an AMAZING author!**

_*All thoughts are in italics*_

***Memories are Bold and underlined***

_**I do not own Twilight or any of it's amazing characters.**_

Bpov

Carlisle settles down in the chair beside my bed and looks at me waiting for more. I take a deep breath and stare off into the world around me. I know I must feel something, but at the moment I feel numb, This feeling surrounds me, and I venture into the unknown.

"After all the police reports and restraining orders we filed against James and anyone else affiliated with him, my whole family was drained. My mom and Dad refused to leave my side, but considering James' threat we had to move. I had forgotten about my birthday until the day before my mom came into my room while I was midway packing away some of my things in a box. She handed me a duffle bag full of new clothes and a round trip ticket. The plane would leave that night, and would arrive at midnight September 13th, the day of my birthday. She drove me to Jacob's house later; his dad was supervising us for the week, and she kissed me on my forehead saying that she would see me the following Monday. As I got out of the car, and I watched her drive away my cell phone buzzed with a text: _**'Happy Early Birthday, I'm watching you Love ;)'**_

I shook off the shiver that traveled down my back and ran into the house to go see Jake. I missed him, and I told myself that he was all I needed."

Cpov

Her story becomes detailed and for once I see a genuine smile on her face when she speaks Jake's name. I make a mental note to find out who this man could be and what became of him before giving her my undivided attention. Darkness falls outside and she gets another far away look in her eyes. I see her lips moving, but I know that she must be a million miles from here.

Bpov

"My week had been amazing. It was full of fun moments. Jake and I rode all of the rollercoasters until we puked, and my mother and father called every night to see how I was doing. They loved me and made sure I didn't need anything while I was away. When I made it back home I was so relieved. The plane touched down in Forks and my Mother picked us up. After taking Jacob and Billy home we made our way to our new home."

(Memory:)

"**Dad!" I called his name as soon as I walked into the unfamiliar apartment, that my mother had awkwardly called our new home. It had nothing on our beautiful house with it's yellow walls and blue shutters. My mind stopped when I saw Charlie's face.**

"**Dad, I missed you."**

"**I missed you to Bells." He hugged me close and I knew that for the moment I was safe; **_**I never want to leave.**_** "Want to watch the game tonight kiddo?"**

**I thought of saying no, but the look on his face made me say otherwise, "Sure."**

(end)

"I fell asleep with my head rested on top his lap, I still remember my mother softly humming the notes of Claire De Lune."

"When I think of the last time I saw my parents… I try not to." I look towards Carlisle when I say this statement, but he seems to be confused, so I continue, "Instead I think of the memory I just told you, and all I can hear is the twinkling bells of her voice. In my mind it's better than music." I pause again, and looking towards him I try to read his face. I know that when I begin the next part of my story there is no going back. I want to tell him to step out of my life before I let him in, but something about the look he gives me begs me to continue. "The last time I saw my parents faces is a day I'll never forget."

(Memory:)

**The day was so wonderful. I had just come home from Disneyland, and I had the opportunity to feel safe in my parents arms again. There has been no sign from him. I woke up that night with my cover surrounding me, My throat was raw from screaming , and I was drenched in sweat. "Don't worry," I whispered to myself, "Mom and dad should be coming soon." I sat and waited. There was no sign of movement in the house. I got up and started to walk down the hallway. I felt prickles of nervousness travel up my body as I moved closer to their room, and when I saw their bodies laying there I didn't see the constant rise and fall of their chests.**

"**Mom, Dad?" I whispered. When they didn't answer I started to panic. I walked towards them and when I touch the covers the smell hit me. Blood. I looked at my hands and even though it was dark I knew what my fingertips were covered in. "AHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed, "Mom and Dad, please wake up!"**

"**You see what I had to do, baby?" The voice sent chills up my spine and I wished I was having another nightmare, but I knew I wasn't. "They wouldn't let us be together, so I had to get rid of them, and now I can have you all to myself." My mind was reeling at the possibility that he was standing right behind me and as I whirled around I tried to make my eyes adjust to the black sea of darkness that seemed to surround me at all angles.**

"**Don't look so scared sweetheart, I'll hold you if you want me to." And that's when I felt his breath scanning over my skin; his fingertips lightly brushed against the back of my neck, "I've always loved you Isabella. Since the first day I saw you."**

"**Why did you kill my parents?" I asked while trying to decide which was to run.**

"**I had to baby, they were getting in the way of our love."**

**All it took was those simple words to push me, and I took off down the hall. "Don't run from me Isabella!" His voice rang out behind me, and my heart started to beat faster; he was going to kill me next. I ran into the kitchen and hoped the darkness would hide me as I took cover under the isle in the middle of the room. "I don't like to fucking play games, Isabella! Come out or I will be very angry; you won't like it when I'm angry." I listened to his foot steps, **_**1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. **_**They began to fade and it was then that I decided to leave my hiding spot.**

**Before I could take one step my body came crashing into the isle and I felt his hands on me; I tried to lash out against him, and when I screamed his hand came crashing down on the side of my face. "Don't you ever run from me bitch!" Tears started to roll down my face as I realized what he was going to do. **_**He's not going to kill me; he's going to rape me. **_**He ripped my shirt from my body and as much as I screamed I feared no one heard me, because he continued. My clothes were scavenged off my body and he entered me. Something inside of me clicked. **_**I feel dirty; I feel used. **_**I had lost all innocence in this moment, **_**My parents are dead, and I have nothing to live for. **_**Reaching behind the isle as he thrusted into me I grabbed the first sharp cooking utensil I felt. The blade dug into my skin as I gripped it and I struck him with it.**

"**AHHHHHH!" he screamed out in pain, and I struck him again. When he let go of me I ignored the pain In between my legs and ran to the nearest house to me.**

"**Help!" I screamed as I threw my fists at the door, "I need help."**

(end)

"I don't remember much after that, except the scream of the woman as she answered the door, and waking up in a hospital bed the next day. I still feel cold inside; he robbed me of everything good in my life."

"And…" Carlisle's voice is surprisingly soft, before be blows up. "And what happened to that bastard!" he exclaims, "I hope they gave him a proper prison burial!"

I look down at the mention of James, and I remember the reason I never want to leave this place unless it's in my own personal body bag, "They never found his body."

"What do you mean?" He asks as if he didn't hear me the first time.

"When I woke up at the hospital, I was in hysterics over it all. They didn't want to tell me, but I insisted to learn it all. The police told me that all that was left was a trail of blood leading out of the kitchen and disappearing into the grass outside."

"Is that all Bella?" He asks

"Written in his blood that that covered the isle he stole my virginity were the words: "We're not over and it will never be over unless we live together forever in eternity."

Cpov

"Do you want to stay here Bella?" I ask her suddenly. I know that she may say yes, but I also feel the need to protect her. _She doesn't deserve this._

"No, but I don't really have much of a choice. I'm damaged goods. I was raped, and I've been hollow ever since the day I found my parent's body; besides, where would I go? No one wants me, even my God parents and best friend gave up on me." A tear rolls down her face, "It's all my fault Carlisle, I should've talked. I should've told them my story."

I shush her silent pleas and when I approach her I take her hand in mine; once again I'm reminded of the innocence I feel when I hold the hands of my own daughters. "It was your story to tell," I say, "and if they didn't want to be patient with you, they didn't deserve you." For the first time since I've been trying to unlock Isabella's mind, she smiles.

* * *

I walk up to the front desk at the front of the asylum, and nurse Lauren tries to catch my eye. "Hello Doctor-" She stops short when she sees Bella trailing behind me. Silently I slide the papers within her line of vision and say, "These are Bella's release papers; and this is her last day here." The look on Lauren's face is priceless, "So Bella are you ready to go home?"

"Yes."

**I know you guys waited FOREVER for this, but was it worth the wait?**

**Please R & R! Tell me what you think; GOOD or BAD.**

**-Michelle**


	12. Chapter 12:Give This Song Another Listen

**New chapter time! *does little dance* I hope you guys like this and this one is dedicated to:**LynMcCallum**, because she's awesome & lets face it her Vampire Academy stories make my heart go pitter patter.**

**The Twilight Universe belongs to SM.**

Bpov

The outside looks smaller to me now. It's as if I grew in the four years I was away or maybe in some strange way the world shrunk. _It moved on without me._

"Isabella?" Carlisle opens the car door, and gestures for me to get in. I smile and take his offer. It's been so long since I've ridden in a car. It's been so long since I've done anything that applies to the major rules of society, and I miss it.

"Carlisle?" I call as the car sets into motion. The green outside my window seems to turn into a haunting sea,

"Yes?"

"Your family," I start off, "will they like me?" suddenly a lump forms inside my throat, but when I turn to look at Carlisle his face shows no hint of regret; in fact, he smiles.

"If there is one thing to know about the Cullen's, we don't judge. We only accept, and I think my family will adjust to you just fine."

The lump subsides and I continue to watch the scenery outside my window pass by silently. We take winding roads and the grass seems to become greener. "This isn't the part where you take me into the middle of nowhere, and kill me is it?" This makes Carlisle laugh a calm laughter that shocks me. It seems so light, non-caring, "Carlisle are you sure you're not an angel?"

"No my dear, but that is a very strange way of describing one."

I don't realize that we've emerged into a clearing of the woods until I feel the bumpiness of gravel crunching beneath the tires of Carlisle's black car. When I turn my attention away from him, I see a house that resembles perfection. It screams I'm visible, but also well hidden enough to be invisible. "I've never seen a house built like this before." I whisper; if Carlisle hears me , he ignores my astonishment. Instead he lets me wallow in my own thoughts.

The car door opens and instantly I am hit with the smell of pine; a smell that I find myself hardly adjusting to. As I step out of the car I'm suddenly aware that I'm still wearing the scrubs issued to the people on the ward; I feel like a freak. I freeze.

"Remember what I said, Bella." Carlisle puts his hand on my shoulder. The gesture of reassuring; suddenly I'm reminded of my father. "No judging," and it's as if those words make my feet move forward.

When Carlisle opens the door that connects the inside of the house to a garage, again I'm frozen. Inside the kitchen I face the people I've only seen in pictures, and even that does them no justice. Strangely they seem to be studying me as intently as I study them, my voice catches in my throat, _my greeting is stuck_, but before the feeling of humility can sink in I am saved by a bubbly voice

"Hi, you must be Bella," without giving me a chance to think she hugs me. Her hug is firm and soft; it makes me tense and relaxed. When she pulls back her smile is genuine and impish. She reminds me of a pixie, "I can tell that we're going to be great friends." Carlisle clears his throat and Alice backs off, She grabs someone's hand, and introduces him, "This is Jasper."

"Nice to meet you." Jasper looks tense; _almost like he wants to eat me._

"Don't worry," Alice smirks, "he won't bite."

The comment should be funny, but for some strange reason it makes me go cold. "Alice, let's not scare the girl." the next voice is seductive and trancelike. A girl that resembles a Victoria Secret model approaches me. "I'm Rose," the greeting is distasteful on her tongue, "and this is Emmett." The guy next to her waves; his smile is inviting. The two quickly leave the room after their introduction, and then all that's left is The pixie, the biter, Carlisle, and a petite brunette.

"As you probably know, I'm Esme. You've probably heard a lot about me; I've certainly heard a lot about you."

"I hope they were good things." the words tumble out of my mouth before I have time to stop them, but luckily everyone in the room chuckles.

"I'm glad you've brought home someone with a sense of humor, Carlisle, we can certainly use it around this house.

For the first time since we've entered the house Carlisle opens his mouth to speak, "Where's Edward?" he asks. I try to hide my interest; _I almost forgot about the boy with the bronze hair. The one who haunts my dreams._

"He said he would be back later, he had a school project to do." She says the excuse quickly then I would have expected, and then changes the subject, "but for now, why don't we get Isabella settled, "have you eaten dear?'

The question catches me off guard and I realize that for the first time in four years I'm not on a strict schedule. "No." I answer .

"Good." Esme says with a smile that make me think about twinkling lights. She grabs my hand and leads me deeper into the kitchen and I can't help but think of my mother, her face pops into my head so abruptly, that I don't have time to comment on the coldness of Esme's fingers. She fixes me a plate of lasagna, and as the scent of the herbs touch my nostrils I for once remember what home feels like.

I carry the plate back to the table, and my eyes water a little at the sight of all the smiling faces around me. "Thank you Esme." The simple gesture or gratitude is easy, and Esme makes no big deal of it.

"No need to thank me Bella. We're family, and family helps each other.

* * *

Alice grabs my hand as soon as I am done eating and pulls me up the stairs.

"I've set up, organized, and designed your room. I've also taken it upon myself to buy you a couple of things, in case you didn't have your own." She opens the bedroom door, and instantly I'm stilled by the way it mirrors a reflection of a happier part of me. The bed in the middle of the room is big, and it is draped in navy blue silk, the walls are bare an colored a light tan, on the dresser there lies a huge mirror and a million make up products, that I don't care much for, but the main thing that catches my eyes is the trail of music notes that lines the walls and seem to whisper the quotes that are written above them.

"You seemed like a music lover," Alice pats me on the back, "You have your own personal bathroom, there are some clothes in the closet, an ipod that has all different genres of music and almost a million songs, and if there is anything you need, don't hesitate to ask." I don't pay much attention to the door as it closes behind her, but when I have the strange contraption of the ipod in my hands I'm mometarily enthused.

_I remember when they were first made, and dad said he would think about buying me one for my birthday. _They were smaller then, and defiantly not as thin and big. When the light comes on and I start to scroll down the list a band triggers a part of my memory, and when I find a song I haven't listened to in ages, I think of a friendship I once had with Jake. I press play and adjust the volume as I place on the dock and the music drowns out any other sounds in the room. The song is set to repeat, and when I enter the shower it takes all I can do not to cry.

"_Don't worry about the distance_

_I'm right there if you get lonely_

_Give this song another listen_

_Close your eyes_

_Listen to my voice, it's my disguise_

_I'm by your side."_

* * *

A light familiar sound wakes me. For a moment I don't remember where I am, but when I see the moon light through my bedroom I remember that I've been saved. _What is that sound? _I get out of the bed as silently as possible, and crack open my door. _Claire De Lune. _I follow the sound of music, and slowly I make my way down the stairs. My eyes adjust to the darkness and for a second the music falters. As if it's controlling me I stop, but begin to walk when it starts again; I follow the sound to a small room and that is when I see him.

His hair is stunning in the moonlight, and his hands move across the piano like a ghost. The tune is like heaven and hell; a small part of my chest burns for everything I've lost. I want him to see me, and I hope that maybe he'll notice me, but he says nothing, and neither do I. It's as if the silence, and the music combines us, so as he plays that final note I walk towards him. I place my fingers over his and together we press that final key. I feel electricity, but he rips his hands away from mine.

I back away and try to whisper out an apology without stuttering, "I'm s- s- sorry. I didn't mean to." But before I can finish he's already moving in the opposite direction.

**Damn, Why does Eddie always have to be so cold?**

**Please review and tell me what you think, and what do you think will happen next! I'll be back soon**

**-SincerlyChelly (formally known as blkbrat47)**


	13. Chapter 13:The Only One

**I had MAJOR fun writing this chapter, so I hope you guys like it as much I do.**

**I unfortunately own no part of Twilight. **

Bpov

"_If I could tell you anything would you believe me?" He asked me the question, plain and simple, and even if it was odd, I found myself answering._

"_Yes?"_

_His eyes burned into mine, and I don't know why, but I trusted it. I trusted this moment. "I'm not normal, Bella," my name rolled off his tongue like butter, "none of us are normal."_

_The confusion of what he was saying broke me out of a lustful trance, I blinked, and when I opened my eyes he was suddenly in front of me. "And neither are you." He said_

"Bella! Bella! Bellllllllaaaaaaaaaa!" the soft drag of my name and gentle nudge in my side made Edward's face fade from my line of vision. "Bella, wake up." My eyes open, and someone is staring down at me; _damn Pixie. _

"Yes, Alice?" I ask through a groggy throat.

"So, I was thinking about you, and got this stellar idea." Her face lit up like twinkling stars, and for a moment her happiness terrified me.

"What kind of idea?" I ask, while trying to mask the fact that I hate surprises.

"An idea that involves, getting out the house and things… like… girly stuff; shopping, spa, and maybe something fun with the family later on tonight?"

I groan at the thought, because having to see people again was defiantly a problem. "Alice, I don't know if I'm up for that type of exposure."

Her whole face fell, lips quivering, and for a second I was reminded of a wounded animal. "That's ok, Bella. I just thought, but maybe I came off too strong. I didn't mean to—

The small coil of guilt winding its way into my stomach made me blurt out before thinking, "No, Alice; it's ok. I'll go with you."

"Oh my God, really Bella!" she reminded me of a child on Christmas morning, and I had to admit that her excitement was contagious. "We're going to have so much fun. I just knew you would say yes; I even picked out an outfit for you."

My eyes narrowed a bit at the thought of her predicting that I would change my mind last minute. _Not to self: Avoid the puppy dog face of the manipulative mythical creature._

45 minute later, I'm seated in a bright yellow Ferrari that stood out against the misty day. My outfit consisted of skinny jeans, black ugg boots, and a cream colored long-sleeved chiffon top that was see through just below my midsection. Alice insisted that it was ok I show a little skin, and even if I did feel slightly out of my element I was thankful that I wasn't out on my own. She kicked the car into gear and the trees started to rush past; all I saw was a sea of green.

"So where are we going?" I asked while looking over at Alice.

"To Port Angeles, they have this amazing spa that I know will relax you in the most delicious way, and the boutique stores are thriving this time of year."

As she spoke of this city-like part of town I suddenly couldn't recall the last time I was here. "I don't remember the last time I was here. "I don't even remember what Port Angeles looks like." I whisper to myself, but suddenly I feel a small hand tracing my back.

"It's alright, Bella. If it helps any, it hasn't changed much. It's still slow, rainy, and full of hormonal teenagers just waiting to jump each other behind the movie theater."

I laughed at her small joke, and thought of my past. "You know, I had my first kiss in the movie theater." I told her, "suddenly I remember the way Jake always felt, warm and sunny. "I was 12 and he was 11. I believe I had forced him to take me to see, '_Legally Blond.'_

"Awww, how cute." She smiled at me, and I smirked back, "So, who was the lucky boy?" she asks.

"Just an old friend," I said turning away from her, "he's probably forgotten about me by now,, and moved on with his life."

Alice took that as the cue that the subject conversation was off limits, and for that I was grateful. _Maybe we will be great friends after all, pixie. _ The rest of the ride was quiet, and soon we were going through a pixie-made tornado of clothes Alice made me try on what seemed like a hundred different outfits, and she swiped her card like a mad woman. By the time we were finished shopping my legs and arms ached with the weight of the bags; I was at a loss of breath by the time we made it to the car, Alice carried hers effortlessly.

"So, Spa time?" we packed the bags into the trunk of the car and walked in the opposite direction of the parking space. A building came into the distance, and when Alice opened the door I was greeted with the smell of soap, and oils.

"Hello Ms. Cullen. How are you today? Would you like the usual?" the receptionist spoke to Alice as if she was taking her food order; she ceased to realize me standing beside her.

"Actually Angela, I would like two order of facials, mani-pedi's, botanical scrubs, one massage, and one full body wax for my new family member." I raised my eyes at the mentioning of waxing, but before I could open my mouth I heard a light gasp come from the receptionist.

"Isabella Swan?" the fact that she knew my name, even if I had known her in a prior life, scared me.

"Do I know you." I ask

"No, but I know all about you, you're the girl that—

Alice cut her off before she could say anything farther. The look in her eye scared me shitless, "Don't ever, in your life, address her as if she is a mystery case just waiting to be unlocked. You're here to take orders; so, do it. Scan my card and stay quiet. If I ever hear of you addressing Bella in that way again, I will make your life a living hell.

The receptionist visibly flinched and cleared her throat, "I'm so sorry, Ms. Swan and Ms. Cullen. I'll get right on your appointments."

As we were led by a petite woman to the locker rooms in the back I looked at Alice, "Thanks Alice, you really didn't have to out there."

"Yes I did, Bella. That bitch had no right to speak about your life as if you're an open book. I put my head down at her words, but she lifted them back up, "People will talk crap about you all your life, but you have to learn how to evolve from that. You are beautiful Isabella, and you will overcome all you have to do is believe. You're my new sister after all, and my family never gives up."

* * *

"I'll never forgive you for this Alice." I could feel her body giggling with laughter, but due to the cucumber slices that were covering my eyes I couldn't shoot her the daggers I was mentally stabbing her with.

"Aww, I'm sure the deep tissue massage will make you legs feel much better." She said trying to justify her evil actions.

"That doesn't help the fact that my crouch is sore." I nearly yelled.

Alice laughed out loud in response, "Well at least your body is smoooootth." She dragged out the "ooth" and suddenly I couldn't stand not seeing her face. When I pulled the cucumbers off my eyes, careful not to scrape the avocado mask that made me look like a green monster. Her face is flawless, but I know that behind those cucumber slices are eyes that resemble Edward's.

"Alice?" I work up the courage to ask a question that has been on my mind.

"Yes?"

"Does Edward not like me." The sentence lingers in the air a second too long, and I wonder if I've asked the wrong thing. "I don't mean to put you in an awkward position, it's just that" the sentence fades on my tongue. I don't wish to remind myself of the night before.

Finally she speaks, "Edward is just an awkward person, Bella. It's not you, in fact I'm almost positive Edward will love you when he gets to know you." A small smile finds her lips as if she knows a secret that I don't. "You just have to give him time to warm up to you." I sigh at her words, and lay back as the hand and feet people walk in. I forget my problems once my feet are soaked in the bubbly water, but in my mind I can still feel the electricity of his fingers.

* * *

"OK, open your eyes." Alice whispers as I sit in front of the vanity mirror. She had been treating me like a live Barbie doll all day, and as soon as we got back to the house she pulled out a long sleeved royal blue colored dress, and matching black combat boots. I tried to reason with her, but she kept reminding me that I already agreed to go along with her plans for the day.

Opening my eyes I gasped at the person looking back at me. My hair hung in soft delicate curls that were pinned back and flowing down my back. My lips were painted a pale rose, and my eyes were did up in smoky makeup; it made me look dangerous and alluring.

"You're a masterpiece, doll." I smiled at her words and for once in the last full years it reached my eyes.

"Thank-you, Alice."

"Thank me when the boys can't keep their eyes off you tonight."

The thought of going somewhere crowded terrified me, "We're not going to some tye of night club?" I asked quickly.

"of course not, Bella, I knew you wouldn't be up for that; so I picked something… civil."

"Like what?" I asked again.

"Karaoke!" her child-like excitement always seemed to make my insides tickle.

"OK, but for the heads up; I don't sing in front of people." I couldn't remember the last time I sung anything, and I sure wasn't going to try out these rusty pipes.

"Hmmm; I think I can persuade you to change your mind."

Her look resembled that of an evil imp, and I couldn't help but to laugh. Reaching the stairs I wondered who waited at the bottom. "Now introducing," Alice said in a mock English accent "the beautiful Isabella Swan."

Walking down the stairs I looked at my feet until a strange feeling of courage told me to look up. I was greeted by five pairs of eyes. "Hi guys." I stuttered out, trying not to turn seven different shades of red.

"Don't you look like a Hot tamale in a cool dress." A booming voice said impulsively, and just as I was expecting I could feel the heat rising into my cheeks. "Awww she blushes." Suddenly Rose smacked Emmett in the back of his head and he snuck me one last teasing smile.

"Bella we're all going to be coupled up in our cars, so you're going to be riding with Edward." Luckily I stopped my eyes from popping out of my head.

"Sure, ok Alice." She winked at me on her way out of the door, but really I was nervous with being alone with him. Finally I turned towards him, and looked at him (something I had successfully avoided when I walked downstairs).

I opened my mouth to talk, but he beat me to it, "I'm sorry if we got off to the wrong start." He ran his fingers nervously through his hair, they were long and pale white like the rest of his body, but his lips were red like the petals of roses. "So, I guess I'll start by introducing myself officially, I'm Edward," his smile was crooked, and that imperfection made him seem even more perfect. "and I'm told that you like to be called, Bella." He lightly touched my fingertips and pressed a kiss to my palm. The feel of his lips were hard and soft all at once. "Did you know that Bella means beautiful in Italian?"

It was then that my stomach lightly started to flutter and as I bit my bottom lip my blush started attacking my face. "And what does that say about me?" I ask without thinking.

He smiled and I smirked back, "only the obvious, Ms. Swan."

* * *

"_Look at you_

_Getting' more than just re-up_

_Baby, you_

_Got all the papers with their strings up_

_Faking like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em_

_I know what you are, what you are, baby_

_Womanizer, woman, womanizer"_

Alice and surprisingly Emmett sung the words to the song flawlessly and slightly off key, while I tried to keep in laughter. Emmett's hands rested on his hips, and he swung them like a pro,, while Alice pretended to smack him. This scene damn near had me in tears.

"In a past life, I'm pretty sure Emmett was a stripper." Jasper whispered to me, and I had to grip my sides at the tightening of my muscles.

"Why don't you get up there?" Edward's voice stood out, and the feel of his cold breath sent a chill through my body.

"I don't sing in front of people." I said flatly, but he didn't seem to believe me. Something about the look in his eyes made me want to tell him all my secrets. "I stopped singing after the death of my parents." He was taken aback by my confession, and as his eyes burned into mine the rest of the world seemed to blur around me.

"Thank you for that sexy and yet disturbing display." I turned my head away from him just in Cullen's faces turned serious.

"Who else smells dog?" Rosalie sneers. I looked in the direction they were looking in, but I could only see a small group of Indians. Their hairs were all cut short and she approached the Cullens.

"Look what Hell let loose." The Indian girl said in an obnoxious voice. She looked familiar, but my mind wouldn't match the face.

"Just because my daddy said I have to be nice won't stop me from kicking your ass, Clearwater." Rosalie's voice was a little above a growl, but the name is what made me freeze in response. _Clearwater._

"I'd love to watch that dream never come true, but my brother's on stage." She turned her back without so much of a glance towards me, but my mind was suddenly going into overdrive.

"Leah Clearwater." I whisper to myself.

"Bella, you know her?" Someone asks me in the distance, but I found a hard time concentrating on the voice, my eyes started to scan the crowd frantically, and when they reached the stage I found him. His skin had turned a darker shade of tan, with a hint of red like the redwoods. He was tall, so tall, and as he spoke into the microphone to introduce himself I couldn't help but get lost in every detail of him. He was muscular and his smile made my eyes water. I couldn't believ how much I had missed. He started to sing and a small tear spilled over,

"_I don't mind spending everyday_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile_

_Ask if she wants to stay a while _

_And she will be loved."_

I never cared that he couldn't sing; the only thing that mattered was that he was the only one that loved me enough to do it. A thousand memories streamed through my head and yet somehow my feet brought me before him.

"Jake." The name left my mouth in a whisper, and as he looked into my eyes recognition dawned on him,

"Bells." I didn't have time to react before the microphone hit the floor, my feet hit the ground, and his lips crashed into mine.

**So, how does this chapter make you feel? There's a little OOC behavior in Edward (did I make him a little too flirty?), and secondly how do you feel about the introduction of the wolves?**

**Please review and let me know! I'd appreciate it.**

**-Lots of LOVE,**

**SincerlyChelly (formally known as blkbrat47)**


	14. Chapter 14:One Step Ahead

**So, I'm in a good mood tonight; I'm wide awake, an I finished another chapter. I want to say that I have been getting so much supposrt for this story lately, and if it wasn't for those of you that follow, favorite, and review I wouldn't have the courage to keep on going. I hope you guys enjoy this chpater, because IT'S FOR YOU!**

Bpov

If there is one word I can always use to describe Jacob Black, it would be impulsive. His lips pressed to mine, his body hot, and yet not even two words had been exchanged between us. _Was this a sweet reunion, or was it all a bittersweet mind trick? I don't know if I'm going crazy, but if I am, I'm proud to say that I've finally gone off the deep end._

* * *

Epov

Isabella Swan, the girl with eyes that remind me of chocolate gumdrops, and hair that makes me desire strawberries, is beautiful. I wanted to tell her the first night I saw her, but I smelled her first. Her scent hit me like a football tackle from Emmett and like a fool (forgetting that there was a human in the house) I ran towards it. The knob to her room door turned slowly and not once did she stir.

It took me less that a second to walk across the room, and soon I was standing over her. Her skin reminded me of a slab of marble, just waiting to be made into a piece of art, bu even the world's most renown artist wouldn't be able to ignore the beauty of her. Her hair was spread wildly against the pillow, creating shadows on her pale skin. Her lips slightly parted, _just waiting to be kissed. _A small blush formed in her cheeks, an the steady thrum of her heart beating made it all flow. It had been almost a century since I've wanted; since I've lusted over something that I could easily kill. "So fragile." the words left my mouth and I reached towards her, but I stopped myself. _This is wrong, _I thought. I left the room. The thought of Isabella led me downstairs and surprisingy I found myself sitting at my piano. taking a deep breath the slow burn in my throat reminded me of her beauty and my instinct to kill this girl. My fingers flowed across the keys and music flitted out easily.

I was almost halfway through the sonh when I heard footsteps; my hands faltered. "You can do this," I told myself, "resist." So, I kept playing. Soon she was next to me. I could hear the loudness of her breathing and heartbest as one, so when she touched me I couldn't stop the slam of urges. I wanted to give into this animalistic urge. Grab her, slam her into the piano, and drain her for all she was worth, but I had to find the strength.

Ripping my hands from hers I did the one thing I knew I could. I ran.

_Smooth mood brother. _I heard echo through my head.

_Damn you , Alice. _

* * *

Bpov

The world around me becomes lost, and suddenly I'm caught up in him. The warmth of his skin slowly burns with mine; I can't hear anything outside of the beating of my heart. I never want to open my eyes, _This can't be real._

* * *

Epov

"Hey guys." The words left her mouth slowly and yet I hung on them. _She's an Angel, _I thought, _ an angel and I'm a demon that wants to covet her. I want her to be mine forever. _I want to love her, but the burn in my throat disagrees, it's telling me to _drain her; kill her; feed. _

"…So, you're going to be riding with Edward." that piece of info if the only thing that sticks with me as Alice shoots Bella a smile, and me a look. _Don't fuck this up, Eddie. _It takes everythig in me not to mess up making the first move, and thankfully she looks as nervous as me. _Introduce yourself! _My mind screams.

"I'm sorry if we got off to the wrong start." my fingers find my hair before I can stop them, _smooth move_, I think annoyingly, "So I guess I'll start by introducing myself officially, I'm Edward, and I'm told you like to be called Bella." On impulse I quickly pick up her plame and press my lips to it, _resist the urge._ her skin is warm, and it tingles at my touch. "Did you know that Bella means beautiful in italian?" I asked

She bites her bottom lip and blood brings fire to her cheeks and my desire. I wonder if I've said something wrong. "And what does that say bout me?" she surprises me, and that draws me in more.

"Only the obvious." is my reply when I want to tell her that she's so much more than that.

* * *

Bpov

_Is this how love feels? Because my feet aren't toching the ground and I think I've been floating for a century, but I never want to come down. If this is insanity I hope it claims me forever._

* * *

Epov

It took the slow tapping of her foot to know that she loved music, and I had a slight feeling that she was talented. "Why don't you got up there?" I asked

"I don't sing in front of people." I wanted to ask why, to track down the answer, and to make that insecurity die, but agin she surprised me. "I stopped singing after the death of my parents." In that momemnt something passed in her eyes, and she stared at me, but even when she turned away my eyes remained; _the girl put a spell on me. _Then I smelled them.

* * *

Bpov

_This can't be real. I'll open my eyes and my feet won't be touching the ground. I'll open my eyes and Jacob won't be here; my heart will ache, but it will be my fault. _"I pushed you away." I mumble. A weight is lifted off my lips and slowly I prey my lids open. he's really here, with a smile that outshines the sun.

* * *

Epov

"Jake." She whispers. Me and my family are in shock, but nothing stops his lips suddenly pressed against hers. Sudden jealousy builds in me, and I want to rip his throat out. I want to claim her as mine. Alice's thoughts slam into me. _Carlisle told me Bella's parents died. She lived with God parents. One best friend named Jake. Jacob Black. _I'm slowly hearing the conversation of Bella's past between Alice and Carlisle, and as Bella becomes more familiar with his lips, his mind screams. _I will never let anyone take you from me again. _

"Alice." I whisper. she looks at me and I can see the forming of a thought.

_I asked Bella who her first kiss was, and now I know. _

Bella pulls away, but I can already see the connection in her eyes; _He'll always be one step ahead of me. _

* * *

Bpov

"I pushed you away." again the sentence leaves my lips, but its as if he can't hear me. I want him to tell me I'm right, and that he's moved on but he doesn't.

"I let you go away." is his reply. A small bubble of tears burst through my body and he pulls me close protecting me from the eyes of many. I wonder what they think of me- _weak, pathetice Isabella Swan who can't even keep her emotions in check._

"Want to talk?" when he says those words I can barely nod my head. "You have to let go of me first." he says, but my arms stay locked around him. _I want to live here forever. _"It's ok, I"ve got you. Suddenly he's prying my hands from his skin, and when I open my eyes I notice that he's brought me outside. One quick look around me, and I know that ther's only us in the parking lot. my mind goes numb, and even if I don't know what to say I reach up to stroke his face.

"I've been dreaming about your touch." he says, "I missed it, and I missed you." I want to tell him that I miss him too, but I can't the words are stuck in my throat, so I hug him. the simple erratic thud of his heart melts the ice in my throat. "How did you get here?" The question is one I've been waiting for, so I have no problem answering it.

"I was given a new doctor, and when I finally opened up and told him my story, he signed the papers to release me. Him and his family took me in right away." the thought of the Cullens snapped me out of my happy place. "Oh, shit." I muttered; slapping my plam into my head."They must be wondering what the fuck is going on."

I start to hurry back in the buliding, and Jake follows close behind me, "Who?" he asks.

"The doctor's family," I say, the Culens." Edward is the first to ask me if I'm ok I open my mouth to assure him, to assure all of them, but suddenly I feel the weight of Jake's hand on my shoulder. "Oh, um, this is my," _I just made out with him in front of the whole building what do I call him?_ "my, Jake. Jake, this is -

"I know who they are." a tension fills the air, and I find myself scrambling to figure out why. Jacob's face is guarded, but even I can't deny the feeling that this is a side of Jake I've never seen.

"Bella, we have to go now." Alice's voice coming through the tension is unexpected, but as I move towards her a hand closes around my wrist.

"Stay safe, and come visit me as soon as you can; come alone." The words that Jake whisper's to me send an uneasy feeling throughout my body; _Was that a warning? _The thought follows me all the way home.

**So, this is the end of the chapter, Tell me what you think?!**

**-Michelle**


	15. Chapter 15:Who am I?

**-Michelle**

**There are so many more ideas to put into this story, and I'm kind of excited to make it all happen. I hope you guys like it, because it took me FOREVER to write it.**

Bpov

"You know I learned how to drive when I was 12." The words leave my mouth before I have much time to stop them. The random outburst makes Carlisle look at me peculiarly, "really I did, Jake's dad taught us on the reservation." For a second I can feel the sputter of the rabbit, the vibration of the steering wheel; _the smell of old leather and mothballs._

"Even if that is a wonderful memory, you do need your license to drive these days." He gives me a stern stare.

"So, can someone teach me to drive, since you obviously don't believe me." Carlisle smiles at my sarcasm, "and then I can get my license, and stop being such a burden."

"You are never a burden Bella, we don't mind taking you wherever you want to go." _Even the Quileute Reserve? _I want to ask, but I know the answer. _I can practically hear Carlisle changing the subject._ _I know this is something I have to do myself. _

"Yes, that may be true, but I would feel so much better if I had the ability to take myself places." I emphasize myself and Carlisle lifts his eyebrows.

"OK," He opens a drawer in the kitchen and tosses me a small booklet," if you can study that and pass your permit test, I will personally take you to complete your driving test."

"How soon can I take the permit test?" I can feel my eyes narrowing, but I know what I'm doing. _Yes, I'm testing him, but he started it. _

He laughs, "Whenever you want to Isabella."

"How about tomorrow?"

He raises his eyebrows in surprise and doubt, but he doesn't know that Jacob's dad made us memorize this book front to back, there may be a little changes, but the little things I can handle. "What ever you want, Bella." His chuckle is low and calculating, so I open the booklet and start to skim through. _'Learning how to drive is essential to life, and Jake you have to learn how to work the machine before you can build one.' _Those words are what makes me start to read; _I'll be coming to you soon, Jake. _

Epov

"So, Edward I am putting this in your hands, we all know Isabella passes her driving test today and will be taking her license picture." Alice had saw the vision clear as day; she laughed at Carlisle when he realized how wrong he was in underestimating the girl, "You need to pick out a car for Isabella, and have it back in time so we can surprise her. I don't want to admit it, but I'm reluctant with this freedom they want to give her. I want to lock her in my arms and never let go.

"Alright, Carlisle." Alice comes bounding down the stairs, "I'm coming with you." I roll my eyes and usher her out the door, knowing that if I refuse she'll never leave me alone. When we pull into the dealership I sigh at the shiny colored metal in front of me, but nothing seems to match my Bella.

"What about this car?" Alice stands in front of a cherry red Mustang, I turn my nose up in disgust. She pouts, "Why not?"

"Bella would hate that car." she rolls her eyes and mutters something about unbelievable taste before skipping off. My eyes scan the rows and that's when I see the a black Mini-Cooper. I've honestly never felt much for them, but I can imagine Bella in it. _That beautiful smile grazing her heart-shaped face as her tiny hands grip the steering wheel. _my heart gives a leap and I call the representative over, "We'll take that it."

Bpov

"Told you I knew how to drive." I know it's a childish thing to say, but Carlisle seems content.

"I never doubted you." His smile is calm like always; he's the total opposite of my father, Charlie would've gotten those worry lines in his forehead and busted a vein like he did at the mention of Billy letting me and Jake drive the Rabbit. _'That shit is unstable Billy! What the hell is your problem letting the kids drive it?!" _I chuckle under my breath.

"What's so funny?" Carlisle asks

"Nothing." Is my reply.

When we pull into the clearing of the house, Alice, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Esme are barricaded in front of the garage. The sight is peculiar and breath taking.

"We have a surprise for you."

"I don't like surprises." This is the first thing that comes flying out of my mouth, but Alice walks up to the car and drags me out I have no choice but to soak in the rays of her anticipation. They part from the garage, as if they are the red sea, and in the opening I see a shiny new car.

"Welcome to the Family, Bella." The word family is a lot for me to take in. I turn to oppose, I want to give the gift back, but as always I'm cut off before I can.

"Come on, live a little bit." Emmett throws one arm over my shoulder, and dangles the keys in front of my face with the other. _Live a little. _I grab the keys and smile.

"Thank you guys." I can't stop the blush that probably lightly covers my cheeks when I bite my bottom lip.

"I usually don't bend the rules, but since I underestimated you, I deserve it. Just don't crash the car until your license actually comes."

I take Carlisle's words as my cue to leave, my heart is beating a little faster, and as I think of his face my stomach gets butterflies. There is no vibration when I grip the steering wheel, but I can hear the hum of the engine; it intoxicates me and I let it drown out all the memories as I follow a familiar road to a place of broken promises.

As soon as I cross the border I roll down my window. The air still smells like salt fish and dirt. I expect to see something different, but I can't because I don't; I don't want to see anybody but Jake. The house is still small and shabby, I can imagine that Jake's body stretches from one side of the room to the other. I scan the area around me, a bit of shiny metal sticks out; I seek it out and smile.

"He did it." I whisper, I run my hands down the side f the rabbit and over the roof, my fingers no longer get stuck on chipped pieces of paint.

"You know I named it after you." I jump back, because I didn't hear him coming. "Well not exactly after you, I named her Marie. Mainly, to piss you off."

I feel as if I can never get used to this face, He's a man now, but I can only remember the boy in him. _A boy with a long pony tail and scrawny arms_, "I missed so much."

"Jake!" a deep voice fills the air, "Oh, I didn't know you had company, I'm sorry for interrupting you." The crunch of gravel is loud but swift, I don't want to turn around because I can almost imagine Henry pushing the wheelchair like my father used to.

"Well, she's a pretty one, Jake" the laugh that leaves my lips is sarcastic, because I'll never forget the voice of the man who gave up on me- someone who was supposed to treat like his own flesh and blood.

I run my fingers through my hair and turn towards them, "Even for a crazy girl?" I want to feel the malice in my voice, but it never comes. The small shock of recognition crosses Billy and Henry's faces. Billy grips the sides of his wheelchair and rolls towards me. His arms hug my waist before I can stop him; I'm not adjusted to being this tall, it feels like only yesterday I was sitting atop his lap while he told me old Quileute legends. Another hand touches mine, but by the cold feel of it I know it can't be Jakes.

"Don't touch me." The words are sharp, but he still reaches for me, "Don't fucking touch me."

"What would your father say if he knew you developed such a filthy mouth while you were gone."

"Don't you speak about my father; he trusted you with me and you gave up on me." I'm close to screaming, but I keep it down to a bare minimum.

"You were unstable." I see that same look in his face and before I can stop myself I yell at him.

"And you'll never be anything, but the same asshole, who gave up on a 13 year old rape victim!" It's the first time I've thought of myself that way, and now I feel weak, so I run.

Epov

_Where did she go? Why am I thinking about where she went? She's not my responsibility, but I want her to be. I need her to be. I'm an idiot, and a creep, Bella would never like for me to look after her, or maybe she would? _"I can't stop myself from thinking of her." The sound of my voice is so unsure, weak and womanly. I pinch the bridge of my nose, and focus on the thoughts around me; instantly Alice's distress Invades my thoughts.

_'What is wrong with my head today; why am I blacking out?' _That peaked my curiosity, so focused harder, _'Bella where are you?'_

Bpov

On La Push, there isn't many places to run to, so I find myself on the beach. The waves are crashing into my legs before I realize I've ran into the water, The chill makes me question why I came here of all places.

"Bella!" his voice is husky and so deep; it makes small spindles run down my spine.

"How can I ever get used to that?" I whisper

"Used to what?"

"You, me , us. Whatever you want to call it, Jake." I sigh, "Why am I here?" the question is so broad so I narrow it down, "Forks isn't a good place for me. The Rez., isn't a good place for me. It doesn't love me, and I don't know how I feel about it."

"Stop that shit." His voice is firm and manly, but I can imagine the quizzical crease he would get in his forehead when we were kids.

"Stop what?" My back is still turned to him. I don't want to see his face. I don't want to think about what he's going to tell me.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Yes, you were raped and yes, your parents were killed." his voice is soft, but the words are like a dull knife to the heart. "but you are here, and you are living a life that is filled with so much struggle. A life that is worst than most, but one that is defiantly worth living." His arms come around me; they make me feel secure. Silent tears leave my face; they drip onto the softness of his red/brown clay colored skin.

"You know," he says, "Crying is so unattractive." A bubble of laughter comes out of me; the sound is genuine and sweet. "I hope you're ready."

"For what?"

"This." My feet leave the ground, and in a number of seconds my mouth is filled with the taste of seawater and new life.

Epov

"What do you mean you can't find her?!" the tension is high, but I just don't seem to understand, I want to know where she went.

"I don't know Edward, I saw a vision of her on a beach, and suddenly it just faded out. What do you want me to tell you?" I've never had blurry spots in my visions before!"

"I want to wring Alice's neck." She could be in trouble."

"Or she could be perfectly fine." Carlisle's hand soothingly rests upon my shoulder, "Bella is a grown woman, Edward, you cannot act as if she is a child, nor can you treat her as if she is incapable of fending for herself." Carlisle rarely gets angry, but I can hear the sternness in his voice; _he wants me to back off._

I pinch the bridge of my nose and leave the room. I'm irritated with my weakness of possession I feel over the human girl, and with the house closing in on me her scent starts to smother me. Walking outside I begin to run. The wind hits my face in waves and I think of strawberries; the scent of her hair.

Bpov

"You actually learned to cook something besides peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." Jake places a plate of food in front of me, The smell of herbs and heat kisses my nose.

"Not everyone can be Betty Crocker." I know he's referring to me, but I haven't cooked in years.

"Remember that time I tried to teach you how to bake cookies?"

A small childish smile comes across his face, "I almost burnt down the kitchen and Renee banished me from it." The thought of my mom yelling at me is a lot to take in; I can see her face turning as red as a bowl of cherries. I push food into my mouth before the tears can come. The spaghetti noodles drowned in sauce is messy; it coats my lips with a taste of greatness.

"Pretty good, huh?"

"Yes." I watch him as I eat, and if he notices he pays me no attention, His food is done quickly; his muscles flex every time he takes a breath. _My Jake grew up. He grew up without me. _

Looking down at myself I try to figure out who I am; _What about me has changed?_ My hair hangs damply down my back, and my body is still slim. I drown inside Jake's T-shirt and boxers.

"I can almost hear the wheels turning inside your head" When I look up his plate is clean. he reaches out his hand for mine, slowly but surely I meet him halfway.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to feel."

He looks at me and together we walk out of the kitchen. We walk into his room and I can't help but to flash back to a time of sleepovers and scary stories. His room still smells like pine and the earth; _he is the earth or at least and important piece of mine. _He pulls me into his chest and I silently wonder why he has yet to answer my question.

"You're supposed to feel like Bella, my Bella."

I don't remember the last time he called me that. _Does that Bella still exist? _his arms tighten around me and I feel warm, I think about his embrace. It's secure and it's what I've begged God for over the past years.

"I'm not that Bella anymore, Jake. That Bella died." but he doesn't hear me, because just like the Jake I remember, he's already lightly snoring into my hair.

**I feel like there's a change coming…..**

**What do you think? R&R.**

**-SincerlyChelly**


	16. Chapter 16:Something Weird

**I didn't get any feedback from the last chapter, so I wasn't exactly sure if you guys liked it, or what you disliked about it, or if any of you read it, but hopefully you like this chapter, and hopefully I get some feedback.**

Bpov

I couldn't sleep that night. Instead I stayed up thinking about my life. _What do I do with it now? _All I could think about when I was in the asylum was how my life would be when I got out, if I got out, but now I don't know what I want. The sun rises slowly and as much as I would love to forget the world by staying in Jake's arms I know I can't, so I slide out of his embrace. He moves slightly, but stays sleep, I have to fight my urge to ruffle his hair like I used to do when we were kids; _We're not kids anymore and I shouldn't torture myself with memories of the past. _I grab a small piece of paper from the kitchen counter, and leave a note before leaving:

_The Cullen's might me worried; call me later?_

_-Bella_

The cold breeze outside is comforting, but I still pull my jacket close around my torso. As much as I love the reserve it no longer feels like my place.

* * *

Epov

I smell her as soon as she enters the house, but I also smell something else lingering on her skin; _something is off. _The scent is nasty and wet, it taints the orignal scent of her mouth-watering blood. Alice greets her when she passes by her on the stairs, but she scrunches up her nose when Bella's back is turned. _Dogs, _she thinks, _She was with the dogs. _There is a small punch of defeat in that moment, but I know it must be my fault. _Maybe I should get to know the girl, and possibly I can convince her to feel the same way I feel towards her._

* * *

Bpov

"I'm sorry if I didn't check-in last night; I should've but I just didn't think of-

"It's alright Bella, no worries, you haven't been out in the world for a while. I'm pretty sure that you were safe wherever you went." he drags out the end of the sentence alluding to the silent question he wants to ask me.

"It's fine, Carlisle, I just went to the reserve to visit a friend." he shakes his head quietly and I notice that today there seems to be no stiffness in his stance. I guess that whatever it was has passed.

Walking back up the stairs I pause, and look down the hall at the door next to mine. The boy who sleeps there is mysterious; sometimes I think he likes me and other times he seem as cold as the his skin. _I wonder what his issue is with me? Maybe, I should ask him. _He exits the room as the thought passes, but that doesn't stop me from chickening out; I instantly decide not to ask and stop my initial impulse by hiding inside my room.

"Bella?" he calls out to me.

"Yes?" my heart is beating fast at the first sound of his voice.

He smiles at me, "So, I just wanted to know if maybe you wanted to hang out?" He takes a nervous breath, "I know sometimes I can be a compicated person to read, and I don't want you to think I have anything against you. I would love to get to know you better."

He asks the question as if he is unsure, but I still saves me the embarassment of starting this conversation, "Sure," I say, "I would like that."

* * *

" I don't know why you're making a big deal of this Alice." She pulls my hair into a high ponytail, and brushes down the sides to be sure the part down the middle is perfectly straight. "It's not that serious, we're just hanging out. By the way, I'm still trying to figure out how you found out."

"You will soon learn that there are no secrets in this house." I raise my brows in confusion, but she just laughs, "And this is practically a date, so you should wear these clothes like you're going to die in them. Close your eyes." She goes to work on my face and it takes all of my self control not to scrunch my face in disdain.

"There," she whispers, "open your eyes beautiful."

The makeup she applied to my face is light, thankfully, and the outfit she picked out for me is casual. I'm excited that I actually get to wear dark wash jeans and white ballet flats. The only thing that seems precious is the navy blue casmere turtle neck she practically forced me to put on.

"That color looks perfect on your skin; Edward is going to love it."

The thought of Edward liking my apperance makes my cheeks warm, but I fight the smile that wants to push itself onto my face. "Do you have any idea where he's taking me?" I ask.

"I wouldn't tell you if I did."

"I hate surprises."

"I know."

_Knock. Knock. Knock. _"Bella are you ready to go?" I didn't notice that I stood frozen in the middle of the room until Alice pushes me forward and opens the door.

He looked calmer than me, and I was happy that Alice had dressed me casual, because he looked comfotable in his dark washed jeans, black button up and black boots. "So, are you going to tell me where we're going?"

He smiles, but Alice answers for him, Why can't you be patient Bella?" She glides past me and starts to walk down the hallway, "Nice Docs Edward."

He rolls his eyes, "As if you didn't practically force me into them."

She giggles, and Edward gestured in the direction of the stairs.

* * *

The beginning of the car ride is quiet, until Edward starts off the conversation, "What's your favorite color?"

"Black," I blurt it out before I can think, "Wait, I didn't mean to say that color."

I look for his reaction, but he cautiously keeps his eyes on the road, "What? Black isn't your favorite color?"

"No…. well…" my cheeks start to warm in embarassment, "Your eyes were black that night I saw you with your piano, and for some reason it popped into my head." He stays silent so I quickly begin to change the subject, "But I guess I never really had a fovorite color I just kind of go with the flow." I secretly wanted to say gold, but I would save myself from the embarassment. He didn't need to know how attracated I was to his eyes.

"You don't have to do that." he replies.

"What?"

"You don't have to act like that night never happened. I pushed you away that night; I'm not really used to having new people around."

An akward silence fills the space, "Well I'm not really used to people. I'm surprised that I went out with you tonight." I thought that my declaration would make him feel better, but I didn't know why I suddenly had the urge to make him feel better… _I don't know this man, and he doesn't know me. _I looked at him once more from the corner of my eye, _maybe I could change that. _The thought made me have momentary flashbacks to my thirteen year old self, but I shook the numb feeling away.

_I am no longer defenseless, I am no longer a child. Edward is not James, and I can do this on my own. I can live. I can evolve. _

* * *

"What do you want to eat?"

"How did you know that Italian food is my favorite?"

"I guessed."

Looking at the menu I decide to order the first thing that came to mind. "Do you know if the portebelo ravioli is any good?"

"I don't really eat out much,, but I've heard its pretty great." His fingers run across the top of his water glass; he makes no eye contact with me.

"What did you decide on?"

"I think I'm going to get something light, like a salad."

I snort and he raises his eyebrows, " You don't eat much. Actually, it's not just you. I've been staying with your family for nearly a month, and I can't remember seeing any of you eat. Either I eat too much, or you all have some weird eating disorder."

He laughs lightly, "Let's just say, we're on a special diet."

I raise my eyebrows, but he didn't move to elaborate on what that meant. The waiter moved forward and began to take our orders. Her back was turned to me, but I could still sense the affection she was trying to put on display.

"Is that all you would like to order, sir? Is there anything else I can help you with?" The double meaning in her words was obvious, but Edward didn't seem to pay them any attention.

"You can start by taking my date's order." she sighs and then finally turned around to face me. The disdain and irritation was clear on her face.

"What would you like?" I mutter out an answer and flashe her a quick smile; which she ignores. "I'll be back with your order soon." She says it more to Edward than to me, and I can't help but roll my eyes beside him.

"What was the eyeroll for?" he asks.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, and this is the first time I'm hearing about a date."

His laugh is nervous, "If you don't want to think about it as a date, then we can always act like it was never mentioned."

I was sure my cheeks were flaming red by now, "I-" my response was cut short by the light slam of drinks on our table and the tight lipped waitress in fron of me.

"Your food will be out in five minutes." She walks away, and Edward begins to chuckle.

"It seems like she may be envious of you."

"Why would she be?"

He looks at me for a moment, and it makes me squirm in my seat, "It's because you're beautiful, and everybody can see it."

The waitress comes back, and In that instant I catch a small smirk displayed against Edward's face. he looks at me with something I've never seen before, but I try to ignore his face by focusing on my food.

* * *

"I never would have guessed."

"Hey, I went through a phrase." Edward Protested.

"You in guy liner… I would've kill to see that." My stomach was tying in knots with the excessiveness of laughter.

"Good thing I burned all of the pictures."

"Awwwww." I look at him with my best puppy dog face and he laughs back.

In no time we were pulling into the path that led to the Cullen manor, but instead Edward stops his car at the beginning of the path.

"Let's go for a walk; There's something I want to show you."

For a moment my instincts were telling me to fight against the darkness that was surrounding the forest and when my heart accelerated all I could do was think about James.

"Bella," Edward grabs my hand lightly and holds on, the cold of his skin snapped me out of my daze, "I promise I won't hurt you." Something in my head told me to run away from the dark, but something else yelled louder: _He won't hurt me._ He kept holding onto my hand as I excited the car and together we walked to a small clearing. A dozen wildflowers were illuminated by the moonlight and I could hear the sound of tinkiling water in the distance.

"When I want to think about things, and when I want to forget them I come here. Something about it is soothing, and I thought that maybe you may need to get away from yourself sometimes too." he pulls me down into a sitting position and together we watch at the stars. "Anytime you need to get away, all you have to do is ask."

The veiw of the stars was beautiful, so I try to let go like he says. _Let go of the past, and the nightmares, but something is still bothering me. _"If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were an angel, Edward. There's something about you, and you're family. Is it possible that you guys are too perfect?"

He stiffens at my side, but he says nothing at first, and then takes a deep breath. "No one is perfect, Bella, especially not us."

In that moment I thought about asking more questions, but I ignored my gut instinct. _There is something weird going on in Forks, but I don't know if I want to find out what it is._

**Hope you like this! Please R & R.**

**-Michelle**


	17. Chapter 17: Incapable of Love

**It's been so long, but It feels so good to be back!**

**Everything Twilight Belongs to Stephanie Meyer.**

Bpov

_I think I dreamed of him last night, or maybe I saw him- no, I'm pretty sure it was a dream. There's absolutely no way Edward was standing at the foot of my bed last night, and if he was, how could he have disappeared so quick? I only closed my eyes for like two seconds._

"Are you alright, Bells? You look kind of confused." The sound of that nickname makes me think of my father; I close my eyes tight to erase the image.

When I open my eyes Emmett is eye level with me. I flinch in surprise, "Emmett don't sneak up on me like that." I say accusingly.

"I didn't sneak up on you. I've been calling your name for five minutes; keep up sis."

I smile at his comforting words, and I'm grateful that he treats me like family, "I'm sorry Em, I'm just thinking about stuff." I hope he will brush off the vague description of my thoughts, but then again, this is Emmett.

"What kind of stuff?" I give him a look that says, 'mind your own business' and he laughs, "You know, if you're mentally undressing Edward with your eyes, it's OK. He's pretty hot, but he's not hotter than me."

"I roll my eyes, "Shut up." he laughs obnoxiously as he walks out of the room. I run my fingers through my hair and turn on the television- _maybe this will drown out my thoughts. _for a moment I forget about Edward and I think about the things Carlisle told me to do this weekend while him and Esme are camping. _Homework. No Tutors- thank God. Don't forget to get books for lessons. I'm just happy I finished homework. _"Thank God." I whisper to myself.

"For?" My cheeks turn red before I can stop them, and my heart starts to beat quickly. I know it's him, because I memorized his voice, but that doesn't stop my slight panic attack. _One look, _I think, _One look and I'll be able to tell if he was in my room last night._ When I turn to look at him I go straight for the eyes, but they give away nothing- they're just gold and beautiful and Edward.

"Nothing." I turn my head to face the television, and start to file through the channels, but he doesn't leave. Instead, he sits next to me, and I try hard not to gawk at him

"So, what are you doing?"

I look at him incredulously, "Are you really asking me that while I have this remote control in my hand, and it's pretty obvious that I'm looking for something to watch? Come on Edward, that's worst than asking about the weather."

"Oh," He says it in a simple monotone as if what I just said is new information to him. His eyebrows pull together slightly and awkward silence begins to fill the space. Ever since our "date" he hasn't talked to me, and we haven't really been alone together.

My mind is still buzzing, and I can't get rid of the strange feeling I get when I think about him watching me while I was sleeping. "What did you do last night?" I'm glad the question comes out more conversational than accusatory.

His expression doesn't change, "Nothing much. I slept for a little, then I woke up and played the piano for a while. Why?"

_He's lying. I keep my door cracked, so I can hear him play the piano at night, and last night the whole house was silent. _The sound of his piano frequently comes to aid my dreams- I don't have nightmares on the nights he plays. I try to put two and two together, but I can't remember what I dreamt about, so I change the subject. "Why do you only play your piano at night?"

"It's just something I'm used to. I don't sleep much." He chuckles to himself, and I try to decipher the meaning in his private joke. He gives me a small smile; today I can see the emotions that lie beneath it- _wonder and regret. _"But maybe I should change that?" I shrug my shoulder even though the question is aimed at me, so he just stands up and motions for to follow, "Come on," he says, "I want to show you something."

I follow him to his piano room, but I have to fight the urge that wants to touch him. I wonder why he's always so cold; _I wonder why they are all so cold- maybe this chill is the reason for their lack of physical contact? _He breaks my thought process, and motions for me to sit on the piano bench. When I am in the center of the seat he stands behind me. Suddenly I am reminded of the first night I saw him and the way he pushed me away when my hands touched his; he had moved faster than I've ever seen a human being move that night-_Quicker than the way his fingers glide across the keys. _I had thought he disappeared, but then I caught a glimpse of him looking at me. In the dark of that night he was a slab of alabaster colored marble, but his eyes were onyx. I shake off the memory and quickly look at the man standing over me, today his eyes are golden. I want to ask him why his eyes look different but I stop myself, because today he's letting me in, and he's pulling me close.

"Put your hands here," he directs my right hand to middle C. For a moment I get a glimpse of the piano lessons I begged for as a child, but I decide to keep the knowledge to myself. _Today I'll be the student. _"This is where we start." He puts his hands over mine and he tells me to mirror his movements. The music that we make is something that would make the Gods weep. It sings to me, but I can't for the life of me remember the tune.

"What composition did we just play?" I ask.

"It's yours." I look at him with a confused exprssion, and he gives me a crooked smile, "I call it _Bella,_" he says, "and Bella means beautiful; Just like you." I try to find any indication of the false statement in his words, but I uncover none. His face is close to mine, I think about the moment we are about to share, and I know that this is what I've been waiting for. His lips look soft, but I never find out because he pulls away before we touch.

"I have to go." and just like the first night, he leaves me sitting at his piano.

* * *

Alice hums along to a song that she insisted I listen to . The lyrics talk about shoes, money and love; It's not really my type of music but I refrain from judging her.

"What are you thinking about?" It takes me a while I think about what I want to tell her, so I lie.

"Nothing."

She looks through slanted eyes, "I know you're lying, and if you don't tell me I'll just have to guess." her guesses were always scarily accurate, so I went with the lesser of the two evils.

"Why are guys so complicated?" I ask the question without names, because I don't know how she'll react to me questioning her about her brother's affection.

"Is this guy tall, handsome, golden- eyed, with amazing hair and is he related to me?" I close my eyes in embarrassment. This is the reason I avoid talking to Alice, she can never stop herself from digging beneath the surface.

"Why ask if you already know?" I groan.

"They say if you assume it makes an ass out of you and me, and I refuse to be an ass." I giggle despite the seriousness of her face.

"Ok well since you know who he is, why is your brother so complicated?"

"For one, you like my brother, and this is both sickening and cute. For two, Edward is just Edward. He always acts like he has a stick up his ass. Strangely, he's been more carefree since you've been here."

I look at her in disbelief, "I find that hard to believe. He acts like he wants to be around me sometimes, and then he completely ignores me. I just want to know if he likes me or not." My frustrated confession comes out more rushed than I want it to be, but luckily the antsy feeling I have leaves along with the words.

"I absolutely hate it when your whiney," I sigh at the distasteful look she gives me. "Seriously, helplessness only looks great on me, and I will only help you if you stop sounding desperate." I give her a look of death, "Great, now that that's over." she sits on my bed, and then motions for me to sit beside her; I almost forgot I was standing.

"Since I'm sure just telling him is out of the question," she looks at me to confirm and I stare back in alarm, "Alright, no need to panic. We'll get Edward to tell you how he feels."

"How?" I ask.

"Well, first we make him notice you more than he already has."

"How?" I ask again, even though I secretly knew the answer; I was dreading it.

"With fashion of course."

* * *

I should of ran as soon as the word fashion came out of Alice's mouth, but no, I stayed and now I feel ridiculous.

"Alice, is all of this really necessary?"

"Of course it is." My hair looked like it had been fluffed by an earthquake, and there was makeup everywhere.

"Alice, I'm pretty sure Edward doesn't like poodles."

"Tsk. Tsk. Bella, perfection takes time, and I'm not done yet.. Besides didn't I tell you not to look in the mirror? Put your head back down."

I stared at my thighs and felt self conscious in this flowery dress Alice had put me in. I tried to convince her that it would be better if I wore jeans, but as always she ignored my request. The dress wasn't as long as I wanted it to be and the skirt moved recklessly when I walked, but the pixie was persistent; she said the dark blue looked perfect against my pale skin.

"If I fall, this dress won't hide anything." I said in a final attempt to escape this madness.

"Then I have a simple solution," she said still working on my hair, "don't fall."

I wondered how long this torture would last, but Alice was done before I could start drowning in my misery, "Look up." I focused my attention on the girl in the mirror, an I was shocked when I didn't recognize myself. She had pulled my hair back in a clip, and the little bit of hair that was free no longer resembled a ball of frizz, but it was now a cascading tumble of waves. The makeup she applied was light and dark around my eyes.

"Alice, thanks." I said without much thought

She giggled, "Hey, I'm just doing my job, now go get your man." She said the last part of the sentence with her signature Jasper impression and I smiled at how accurate it sounded.

"How long have you been doing that?" I asked.

"You know, a little over a hundred years." her expression was serious, but I laughed- there was no way she could be that old. "Now remember the game plan?" I nodded "Ok. go get him."

When I exited her room my heart felt like it was going to fall out of my chest but I still moved forward, before I knew it I was knocking on his door. He opened the door quickly, as if he knew I was coming, and I gulped quietly. "Hey Edward Carlisle said I needed to get this list of books before the tutors come next week, Alice can't takes me and everyone else is gone. Would you mind sparing a couple hours of your time?" I silently chastised myself for asking him to spare a couple minutes of his time, and I hoped he would answer soon before the redness in my cheeks turned from pale roses to red rubies.

"I'll be glad to take you, Bella." He looks so calm when he speaks to me, and I envy the experience he must have in this area. "You might want to put shoes and a jacket on though, it's a little chilly outside." I looked down at my bare feet and mentally cursed myself; I knew there was something I was forgetting, and now I felt surprisingly stupid.

When I walked into my room there was a leather jacket and a pair of boots at the foot of my bed waiting for me. I knew they weren't there before I left, so I was thankful I didn't have to enter the giant closet and choose something that Alice would probably disapprove of. I pulled on the boots, and as I picked up the jacket a small slip of paper fell onto the edge of the bed. It read: _You're adorable when you're nervous, but remember just be yourself. He'll love you just as much as I do. -Alice_

The word love gave me a funny feeling, because when I heard it I could only think of James, and the way he forced himself onto me when I was too young to know what love truly was. Then I reminded myself that Edward wasn't James, and I am incapable of a love that deep.

"Bella are you ready to go?" Edward was standing in the doorway, and I smiled in his direction.

"Yea." I pulled on the jacket, and then slipped the piece of paper into the pocket, for a moment I didn't want to think of who I was, or what I've been through, I just wanted to be.


	18. Chapter 18: Seeing is Believing

**Sleep deprivation is the inspiration for 95% of my imagination.**

**Disclaimer goes here.**

Bpov

Let's face it, no matter how hard I tried my heart just wouldn't stop racing, and every time I looked at him I couldn't stop myself from staring. He was gorgeous. There was no denying it, and if I didn't stop staring at him I would probably make him feel uncomfortable. So, I adverted my eyes, hoping he didn't notice.

"Are you always this quiet." his voice put me at ease, and like always a picture of perfectly melted chocolate popped into my head- something about it sounded smooth.

"Yea, sorry" I found it easier to apologize to people for my weird personality traits, but the words suddenly felt odd on the tip of my tongue and for the first time I asked myself if I should apologize for being myself.

"You don't have to apologize. I think I like the quietness. It makes you more mysterious." I let out an unattractive snort, I never thought of myself as mysterious. I was always the "dull one" out of all the people I knew. _There was only one person that thought I shone brightly. _I shook the thought out of my head and I smiled.

"That's a new one."

"I wouldn't want to be anything but original."

The rest of the ride was filled with that same silence we had in the beginning. I couldn't think of anything to say, in fear of looking like an idiot, and he seemed content with the stillness in the car, like he said before. So, I watched the scenery outside of my window. There were thousands of trees surrounding us. The green started to blend every time the car picked up speed, but even in that sea of green I thought I felt a pair of eyes staring back at me. the idea sent a chill down my spine, and I turned my head. _I will not fear the unknown. I will not fear the future. I will only live, and embrace the complications that come with it. _The words that appeared in my mind were said with a familiar voice, so a face popped into my head. My mother was beautiful, and I wished she was here to see this moment adn to see the people that were putting the life I had lost back into me with each breath, but she wasn't here and she never would be. I would just have to deal with that.

"Hey, we're here." when I looked up we were already parked and the car engine was shut off, "The book store is over there. I'm pretty sure you don't want me to follow you around everywhere so," he grabbed the forgotten cell phone off of my lap and dialed in his number. "call me when you're done getting your list of books." The statement wasn't a question or a suggestion, but a slight demand. I felt his protectiveness over me, and I wondered if he had too felt the uneasiness behind the trees earlier.

"Alright" I shot him a smile hoping that would calm whatever he was thinking of but he just gave me his signature crooked smile.

* * *

The book store was small, and it smelled of rain and dust. As I was walking down the different isle's searching for the books to check off my list I let my mind wander. I was in love with books, and it had been so long since I read one. The weight of so many in my hands brought back many pounds of nostalgia. I walked into an isle filled with used classics, and my breath hitched when I saw a worn copy of _"Wuthering Heights"; _all I could think of was the countless times I had read that book, and I remembered the copy I once had. The book was adorned with note filled sticky notes, and I sighed at the memory. When I was younger I hoped for a love like Heathcliff's; one that would connect two souls- even beyond death. I threw the book into the small carrier shopping bag before I could think about it, and then I walked to the register.

"Is this all? Anything else you find interesting?" I knew this was a standard question, but I still considered it. _Was there anything else that caught my eye?_

"Is there anything you would suggest?" The lady at the register looked like she was from the res, and so it felt safe asking for her judgment.

"Do you like folk tales, or native American stories?"

I smiled at her, "Yes." I could remember the stories told around the fire, on the reservation, when I was a child, and I shared a small smile with no one but myself. When I looked up, I noticed the lady had disappeared. I looked over my shoulder, and I noticed that she was searching for something in one of the isles behind me.

"Here it is." She walked back to the counter behind the register and then she showed me the book. It was titled, _"Quillette Legends"_ without much thought I told her I wanted it. it didn't feel as weird as I thought it would to scan the credit card Carlisle gave me, and before I knew it I was on my way. Surprisingly it was dark outside, and when I pulled the phone out of my pocket to look at the time I was shocked at how much hours I had lost inside the store. When I looked up from my phone I noticed someone in a black hoodie standing at the edge of the parking lot. The presence of this person unsettled me, but I decided to blame it on my paranoia. I began walking in the direction of the movie theater, and that's when I heard footsteps following close behind me. My heart began to race, and suddenly I was too scared to look over my shoulder; I had thought that there was a big space between me and the mystery person behind me, but the person's steps sounded closer. I pulled out the phone, and scrolled down to Edward's number. At the extract time I pressed talk I decided to quicken my pace; the boots beneath me tripped up my footing and the ground came rushing up to my face.

Someone yanked me back, but even if I was thankful not to hit the ground I knew the person wasn't Edward, and to my knowledge there was only one other person in the parking lot. I faced my "savior." The hoodie the person wore was form fitting, and from the way they stood, and the worn out workers boots, I came to the conclusion that the person was in fact male. "I have no idea how you got so close to me in such a short amount of time, but thank you for saving me from hitting the ground; I'm very clumsy." The guy said nothing, in fact he chuckled. His faint chuckle scared me shitless, so I slowly back away. "Yeah, I have to go meet a friend, so thanks again." I quickly picked my bag off of the asphalt- with my eyes never leaving the mystery man- I turned around an took three large strides. My front collided with something firm, and I jumped hard.

"Hey, it's alright. calm down it's just me." The scream that was hanging on the tip of my tongue was swallowed, and I turned to see a concerned Edward. "You look like you've seen a ghost, and you dropped your phone; I got really concerned when you didn't respond on the other line."

"It's ok, I just fell, and this man helped me up."

"What man?"

I was confused by his question, ,the man was obviously standing right behind me. "I turned around but the strange man in the hoodie was nowhere to be seen. In a way I was thankful for his disappearance, but I was still scared. _I only turned my back for like two seconds, and he wasn't there._ The feeling I got from this terrified me, but I just shook it off.

"It was nothing, maybe he left before you got here, but I'm happy you found me in time. The dark scares me." only half of the sentence was true, I was scared for other reasons, and the dark wasn't one of them- regardless I feared whoever was hiding beneath that hood.

Edward must have sensed my uneasiness, but that didn't stop him from twining his arm with mine. "Are you ready to go home?" I shook my head, because I couldn't trust my voice not to tremble.

* * *

I was standing in the woods. I was alone, and I wasn't dressed for the windy weather. I could tell a storm was coming, but the more I tried to find my way out the more I found myself in circles.

"Remember, I will find you. It doesn't matter where you are or who you've become you will be mine." the voice was one I hadn't heard in a while, and I dreaded the darkness, because the voice echoed against it and I had no idea where it was coming from. "Can you hear me?" Of course I could hear him, but I couldn't see him, and I would rather see my attacker than live in fear.

"Where are you?" I asked, my voice trembled.

"Maybe I should be the one asking the questions, _mi Amor_." the pet name wasn't new, and the last time I had heard was the day my parents had died. "I told you I would never give up on you, or did you forget that?" I wanted to run, to cry, to fight, but I couldn't find the strength. Fear held me in one place, and I knew he had me where he wanted me. "See, you missed me so much that you don't even want me to chase you, you want me to find you, and when I find you, you will be mine Bella."

When those words came to me my legs found the will and I began to run. It started to rain, and my bare feet sloshed through the cold puddles that accumulated quickly. "Don't run from me Bella, you remember what happened the last time you ran from me." My chest started to burn and I pushed myself harder. I thought I could get away, but I couldn't find myself out of this damn forest; before I knew it I was falling. My body hit the ground, and I heard the rustling of footsteps. I looked up and that's when I saw a familiar pair of work boots coming towards me. My body reacted quickly, and I pushed myself into a sitting position; I began to crab walk. My body shook with realization, but I knew I couldn't escape him. It wasn't long before I backed myself into a tree and he was standing in front of me.

He crouched down at complete eye level with me, and again I heard that low chuckle. I silently begged him not to take off the hood but that didn't stop him. His dirty blond hair came into view and he smiled. "Did you miss me beautiful?" He reached for my face, and it was then that I found my voice. I screamed at the exact time that he bagan to laugh.

* * *

"Bella! Bella! Bellllllllla! Please, Bella, wake up." When I opened my eyes Alice was holding me. Her hands were around my torso, and Edward was holding one of my hands. The coldness of their bodies did nothing for the cold sweat that covered my body, but I was thankful for their company. All I could think of was the man in the hoodie. _Could it really be James?_ "What were you dreaming of? What's wrong." I wanted to tell them but I couldn't find the words, and my mouth refused to let me release them.

"Talk to us Bella. Please talk to us." I didn't notice Carlisle and Esme until I heard Carlisle's voice and I looked up to see them standing on the other side of the bed. I looked into his eyes, but his concern only made my heart race. _It's time to speak, Bella. SPEAK BELLA! SPEAK! _ my mind screamed at me but I couldn't will my mouth to open. My eyes scanned the room, and they only settled on Edward when I felt his thumb lightly rubbing my knuckles. I stared into his eyes, and for a moment it was as if no one else was there.

"I saw him, Edward." I whispered, "The man in the parking lot. I didn't see his face in the parking lot, but I saw him in my dreams." I was rambling hysterically. I felt someone run their fingers through my hair.

"Who?" he asked softly. "Who did he look like?"

"It wasn't a look alike. It was him; I know it was him. I know it was him." tears started to spill over my eyes; they blurred my vision of Edward. I knew I looked pathetic right now, but all I saw in him was support and determination.

"Shhhh, shhhh, shhhhh. It's alright Bella, calm down, and tell me who he was." I focused on the way his lips moved and only then did my heart begin to slow to a normal rate.

"It was James."

**Tell me what you think.**

**-Michelle**


	19. Chapter 19: Change Will Come

**Anyways **

**Here goes something. **

**Fill in the Disclaimer.**

Epov

_You let that sick bastard get close to her and you didn't even know it? How could you Edward? I mean, you didn't smell him?_

"Alice stop yelling at me."

_I don't think so, she could have died, and it would've been all your fault._

"but she didn't die. Ok, I'm sorry, I understand it's my fault that he got that close to her, but when I found her she was already so shook up, about this man that I saw no physical trace of, and her scent is so damn potent that I was holding my breath." my explanation came out coolly even though I internally hated myself. Alice was right, I let her out of my sight and then I let that sicko get close to her…. _but how did he get away so fast? _The question was one I didn't think about until now, and as it echoed in my mind Carlisle cleared his throat.

"We don't have time to argue or point the blame toward anyone right now. Bella is our family, and we protect our family. Edward, Bella said something about a parking lot. What parking lot? Tell me everything you remember."

I started to pace around the kitchen table as I spoke, "I took her to the bookstore. When I left she was inside of the store. I was going to sit in the car an wait, but I figured she'd be gone for a while so I went into the woods by the shopping center to hunt. I didn't want to be tempted by her scent," everyone in the room looked at me cautiously, I was one of the most controlled in the family beside Carlisle. I heard the questions screaming thought their minds, so I quickly answered, "her blood sings to me. It makes me have to hold back more then I ever have," _and every second I fight the urge I have that wants to dig my teeth into her neck, _"By the time I walked back into the shopping center it was dark and I got a call. I answered the phone but she wasn't talking on the other end. I got worried and ran to parking lot, she looked pretty shaken up by the time I got there, she ran into me, but by the time I got her to calm down my main focus was getting her home."

"So she didn't mention a person in the parking lot?" Carlisle asked.

"All she said was that some man helped her when she almost fell, but he wasn't there when I got there, and she looked terrified…." I let the word wander off, but even I knew how stupid they sounded. _I should've checked; I should've opened my damn lungs and smelled searched the air for another scent._

"Look, there isn't time to feel sorry for yourself Edward. There is something going on, and right now I need everyone to focus on finding out what the hell it is." Carlisle paced around the room for a moment, "Alice, you Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett go back to the parking lot and see if by chance there is anything weird there. I know this sounds like a far fetched idea, but maybe there will be some type of evidence there telling us who was in the parking lots with Bella."

Alice shook her head eagerly, moving to gather her troops for her mission. "What do you need me to do?" I asked desperately. I needed Carlisle to give me an assignment; I needed to help Bella- _I need to redeem myself. I need to protect her. _

"Look, right now, it seems that you are the only person that can comfort Bella. So, I need you to do just that." I inhaled a shaky breath, because as much as I loved the idea, I was still terrified because I wanted her in a way that could kill her. Carlisle must have sensed my hesitation. "Son," he put his hand on my shoulder, "I know it's hard dealing with the feelings you have for Bella, but right now I need you to step up to the plate and be the man you need to be for her." I took a deep unneeded breath, the faint aroma of her smell filled my lungs, and I let the words sink in. Carlisle was right; I needed to do this.

* * *

"Hey," she looked at me as I entered the room and she smiled, but that smile never reached her eyes. In this moment she looked so small, and broken- she was nothing like the coy girl with the easy going chocolate brown eyes I had grown accustomed to. I approached the side of her bed when she began to stare off into space, and I sat on the edge. The room was still and quiet, but I wouldn't dare break that silence. if she wanted to stay silent then I would stay that way until she said otherwise- it was her move. She shivered, and I instantly grabbed the cover and lifted it to place it around her shoulders. She caught my hands before I could pull away.

"Stay here."

"I'll stay wherever you ask me to." The words were honest and they held no mystery.

I let her pull me foward until I was laying beside her, it felt natural to wrap my arms around her, but I was still careful to do it over the cover in fear that I would make her freeze. I allowed myself to breath as she lay on my chest. She smelled like apricot, strawberries, fresh bread, and cinnamon. I didn't know how to explain it but her blood gave off the aroma of all the scents that were amazing in the human world. He hair laid on my chest, and I was overwhelmed with the urge to touch it, so I ran my fingers through it slowly, and she closed her eyes in relaxation. I could've stayed there forever in this silence, in this in this place, with her in my hands and I would if she let me.

She started to hum to herself, a small slow soulful sounding tune, "What song is that?" I asked.

"A Change is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke." she sounded lost in her own voice, "my mother used to sing it to me when I had a bad day. It always made me feel better."

I wished I could hear the song, I wished I knew the love and comfort she personally felt from it. "I'm sure it's a beautiful song." I replied.

She began to mumble and at first it sounded like a stream of unintellible words, but as I listened I heard the words, _"it's been too hard livin', but I'm afraid to die, coz I don't know what's up there beyond the sky. It's been a long time comin' but I know a change gon' come." _ Even in low volume the sound of her singing was beautiful, and in this moment I felt connected to her. I came to the conclusion that I was In love with Isabella Swan. I was in love with her way before I first lay eyes on her, and I was in love with her before I saw a picture of her in Alice's head. _My soul sings to her and through that song we are connected. _

* * *

Bpov

I didn't know when I fell asleep, but when I did wake up Edward was gone. My heart began to panic, and I wondered if the whole idea of him laying beside me was just a dream, but as I scanned the room I noticed a small piece of paper sitting atop my dresser. I sprung out of bed to retrieve the letter and in the most elegant script was a note addressed to me.

_Bella, _

_ I had to go run some errands with Carlisle and the rest of the family are taking care of some business. I didn't want to leave you, and I'm sorry for breaking my promise to stay, but I was forced, I hope you forgive me, and I'll see you later._

_-Edward_

The note made me feel all fuzzy inside, and for a moment the dead parts of me began to come alive again, until I remembered why Edward was holding me in the first place. I claimed I had seen James, and even if it felt real, I told myself that it was only a hallucination. I wanted to shake the feeling, so in attempt to distract myself I pulled a random book out of the stack I had brought at the book store and headed to the kitchen for a small breakfast. After deciding on a granola bar and yogurt I sat on one of the stools and looked down at the book, surprisingly I had picked the one about Quileute Legends.

I opened the book to a random story and instantly became immersed. '_The pale faces are cold and beautiful, they are succubi and incubbi, and they feed on humans. In modern days they would be portrayed as a "Vampire" but they are worst than the vampires we think we know. _

_They are sworn enemies to the Quillette tribe, who takes the shape of wolves- as long as they don't enter each other's territories their will be no conflict _

_(written in the treaty.)'_

The the story made me curious, and I wanted to know how accurate it was. I closed the book and cleaned up the mess I made in the kitchen before running up the stairs and grabbing my phone. _Ring. Ring. Ring, _"Hello?" The voice was gruff and young; I knew it was who I was looking for instantly.

"Hey Jake, how would you like to educate me on some Quillette Legends. I have this book, but the information sounds weird, I rather hear it from someone in the tribe."

"Sure, come on over." I hung up the phone and rushed to get ready, I knew I probably shoudn't be leaving without calling Edward or Carlisle but the house was empty, and I was only going to Jakes. I figured I would be safe in the car on the way there.

I pulled out a piece of paper and taped a note to the garage door before locking myself securely in my car and driving down the small road to the reservation- Something told me that today would be different.

**I hope you guys like this. Tell me what you think!**


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